A Smile is Worth 1000 Kisses

The girls of apt. 216 [Courtney, Kelsey, Nichelle, Kristen] asked me tonight if I agreed with what one boy in the ward allegedly said to the sisters in our ward's relief society:

"A smile is worth 1000 kisses."

I don't know what that dude was smoking; either he has virgin lips or he knows one amazing smiler! I suppose that under extraordinary circumstances this quote could be true. Like, if it were between two dudes. Or if the girl had a horrific case of halitosis. Exceptions like that.

A truism, such as this, might possibly be applicable in a ward full of hussies, where "kisses are handed out like pretzels," but in general, I would file this under hyperboles. To be fair, ONE smile may be of equal value to ONE kiss, but that is being generous. I'm just trying to be thoughtful about this.

The girls in 216 also reported that they felt chastised during their RSSo dating lesson for not being "nice" to the boys in the ward. They were counseled not to call boys names like, "mean," "dumb" or "gross" because it hurts our feelings . . . . . .

That's also a bunch of hooey! Boys may be socially inept and, in most cases, immature but unlike girls, our self-image is not shattered by weak insults attacking our intelligence or personal hygiene. (Don't deny it ladies, those same frivolous japes affect you, deeply.) If you really want to get us riled up, pretend to be interested in our hobbies and then, out of the blue, start hating on them. "Your Mom" jokes work equally well.

I'm sure hyper-insecure males do exist, but I don't personally know any. Insults like, "so is your face. . .nerd" are not a legitimate excuses for males to feel bad or stop dating all together; guys always have an underlying concern.

I didn't ask, but I'm sure our Relief Society Sisteren were instructed to not turn down boys on dates either. I can just imagine the guilt-hungry Relief Society presidency concocting an image of a girl-terrified Elder who refuses to ask out girls due to fear of rejection in order to indoctrinate the young women of the ward with their ideas of proper dating etiquette. (I'm necessarily calling that a bad thing.)

So I like to solve problems, even in hypothetical situations. For the sakes of the truly petrified Elders who may or may not exist, I came across this mind-bender. Let's see if you can get wiggle around the logic of this one:

YES:
If you answered yes, you just agreed to go out with me.

NO:
If you answered no, you just agreed to go out with me.

*The only possible rejection would be, "As a rule, I don't don't date logicians." [Or something to that effect.]

If you are a black person you might try an approach like this guy (who is actually a girl) on MAD TV's skit, "Can I have your number?" WARNING: Swearing—but is it really swearing in this context?

----------------
Listening to: Mat Kearney - In The Middle

Rummi-"CUB" vs. Rummi-"CUBE"

The "Rummikub" Pronunciation Debate Affirmative Constructive: "Cub" For years, I have been a firm advocate and defender of the pronunciation, Rummi-"CUB". The game box I grew up with spelled it, Rummicub on the box. However, other productions of the game have variant spellings: Rummykub , Rummy Kube , Rummy Tiles , etc. Based solely on box spelling, the game's true pronunciation is open to interpretation. Therefore, Rummi"cub" is equally acceptable to any other given pronunciation. Negative Constructive : "Cube" My opponents argue that since the game originated over seas, we ought to respect and maintain its original pronunciation. Affirmative Rebuttal: Americanization of the Term When the game was brought to America and given Americanized rules, its name was also Americanized. Pronunciation loyalists then counter my rebuttal with, "there are lots of adopted foreign words that have retained their original pron

The Secret Reason Why "Good Witch" Feels Emotionally Off

TL;DR It's the Botox. For the past 3 months, my wife, Stacia, and I have been watching Good Witch (via Netflix and Amazon Prime). Stacia adores winding down to "Hallmark-y shows." We can rely on Good Witch episodes to always resolve happily. The episodes are never too intense. The height of conflict revolves around things like someone's inability to locate the perfect spot to snap a romantic photo for a new tourism brochure. I consider my time watching these shows spouse bonding time , and emotional training. My favorite thing about watching feel-good shows with Stacia is getting to observe her facial reactions to the on-screen drama. When two people lean in for a long-anticipated kiss, Stacia tucks her knees into her chest and frowns with her forehead while lifting her chin and bottom lip. While I'm typically unable to suspend my disbelief, Stacia seems completely entranced by the various characters' emotions. Wishing I could join her in being swept aw

Who's Got The Funk?

I am an amateur guitarist, and I've got no funk. My musical skills seem to lacking that special something . Great musicians have it . Those fortunate enough to have gotten hold of it , create timeless hits. While musicians without it fade into oblivion. After spending hours searching through Blues history websites and 1970's band documentaries online, I discovered what that special something is thank to a (70% Man, 30% fish) character from the BBC show "The Mighty Boosh" named Old Gregg. He identified that thing as The Funk ! But what exactly is The Funk ? Here is some dialogue from the show to help explain its origin and purpose: Old Gregg: You're a musician, yeah? Howard: Yes I am. Old Gregg: Butchya ain't very good, are ya? Howard: I'm one of the best in town. Old Gregg: Come on, I read your reviews. Hmm? You know what your problem is? Howard: What? Old Gregg: Ya ain't got the funk. You're all rigid. Hmm? You're l

HeatherSun Feb 15, 02:11:00 PM MST
A smile is only worth a thousand kisses? Who said that?
CourtneySun Feb 15, 06:49:00 PM MST
Thanks for posting this! I very much appreciate your insights into this subject.
Stefanie ElyseSun Feb 15, 10:53:00 PM MST
A smile is DEFINITELY not worth 1000 kisses. Not even 1 in my book.
LizSun Feb 15, 11:26:00 PM MST
I am in the Relief Society presidency, my love. Be careful what you say.

But I laughed out loud several times reading this.
NoelleTue Feb 17, 06:39:00 AM MST
Good points....I hate it when girls turn down boys for dates. :(
Julie TTue Feb 17, 09:30:00 PM MST
No, I respec that- I respec that when a girl turns down a date because she'd rather ponder his smil' stead 'o 1000 o' his kisses!
Omigosh! Why didn't she just finally give him a dsylexic phone number????
AnonymousThu Feb 19, 11:15:00 PM MST
Yes, girls should be free to turn down boys for dates. When can we get arranged marriages back?

Tuesdays with Muerte

Search This Blog