A Smile is Worth 1000 Kisses

The girls of apt. 216 [Courtney, Kelsey, Nichelle, Kristen] asked me tonight if I agreed with what one boy in the ward allegedly said to the sisters in our ward's relief society:

"A smile is worth 1000 kisses."

I don't know what that dude was smoking; either he has virgin lips or he knows one amazing smiler! I suppose that under extraordinary circumstances this quote could be true. Like, if it were between two dudes. Or if the girl had a horrific case of halitosis. Exceptions like that.

A truism, such as this, might possibly be applicable in a ward full of hussies, where "kisses are handed out like pretzels," but in general, I would file this under hyperboles. To be fair, ONE smile may be of equal value to ONE kiss, but that is being generous. I'm just trying to be thoughtful about this.

The girls in 216 also reported that they felt chastised during their RSSo dating lesson for not being "nice" to the boys in the ward. They were counseled not to call boys names like, "mean," "dumb" or "gross" because it hurts our feelings . . . . . .

That's also a bunch of hooey! Boys may be socially inept and, in most cases, immature but unlike girls, our self-image is not shattered by weak insults attacking our intelligence or personal hygiene. (Don't deny it ladies, those same frivolous japes affect you, deeply.) If you really want to get us riled up, pretend to be interested in our hobbies and then, out of the blue, start hating on them. "Your Mom" jokes work equally well.

I'm sure hyper-insecure males do exist, but I don't personally know any. Insults like, "so is your face. . .nerd" are not a legitimate excuses for males to feel bad or stop dating all together; guys always have an underlying concern.

I didn't ask, but I'm sure our Relief Society Sisteren were instructed to not turn down boys on dates either. I can just imagine the guilt-hungry Relief Society presidency concocting an image of a girl-terrified Elder who refuses to ask out girls due to fear of rejection in order to indoctrinate the young women of the ward with their ideas of proper dating etiquette. (I'm necessarily calling that a bad thing.)

So I like to solve problems, even in hypothetical situations. For the sakes of the truly petrified Elders who may or may not exist, I came across this mind-bender. Let's see if you can get wiggle around the logic of this one:

YES:
If you answered yes, you just agreed to go out with me.

NO:
If you answered no, you just agreed to go out with me.

*The only possible rejection would be, "As a rule, I don't don't date logicians." [Or something to that effect.]

If you are a black person you might try an approach like this guy (who is actually a girl) on MAD TV's skit, "Can I have your number?" WARNING: Swearing—but is it really swearing in this context?

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Listening to: Mat Kearney - In The Middle

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HeatherSun Feb 15, 02:11:00 PM MST
A smile is only worth a thousand kisses? Who said that?
CourtneySun Feb 15, 06:49:00 PM MST
Thanks for posting this! I very much appreciate your insights into this subject.
Stefanie ElyseSun Feb 15, 10:53:00 PM MST
A smile is DEFINITELY not worth 1000 kisses. Not even 1 in my book.
LizSun Feb 15, 11:26:00 PM MST
I am in the Relief Society presidency, my love. Be careful what you say.

But I laughed out loud several times reading this.
NoelleTue Feb 17, 06:39:00 AM MST
Good points....I hate it when girls turn down boys for dates. :(
Julie TTue Feb 17, 09:30:00 PM MST
No, I respec that- I respec that when a girl turns down a date because she'd rather ponder his smil' stead 'o 1000 o' his kisses!
Omigosh! Why didn't she just finally give him a dsylexic phone number????
AnonymousThu Feb 19, 11:15:00 PM MST
Yes, girls should be free to turn down boys for dates. When can we get arranged marriages back?

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