Tuesdays with Muerte

BACKGROUND This is a picture of Crest's Premium, 7-day, teeth whitening system! My generous sister, Heather, gave this kit to me as a gift 2 Christmases ago.  (I think she's just trying to do her part to married me off.)  I kept the box underneath me sink for a year, waiting for a (female) reason to use it.  Finally, on February 3rd, 2009 (a day of complete unimportance), I decided to bust it out. REVIEW The Crest Whitestrips are NOT as user friendly as they claim. They are designed for people with gigantic, horse teeth. Small-mouthed people, beware!  Once I figured out how to remove them from their complicated wrappers, they tasted awful. The instructions ask you to peel off and discard 20% of the strip, which seems like a waste. (But I out-smarted them! I saved those extra bits and carved them up to use once my 7-days are complete.) The gooey bleach always smeared on my fingertips which left temporary, white stain marks. Other than those things, the ...

I usually honor St. Valentine's Day by revealing *my feelings* to a special someone. The term, crush , I think describes it best. I typically don't know the person well, but I'll still care for them (or at least want to care for them). About 75% of the time, I'll be a man and express my feelings for them in some way. Some years, it is a dinner out. Other years it's just an elaborate card. One year, I chickened out entirely and ended up watching a movie about muscle cars. This year, however, is different. This year--I have no "Crush". (Notice: If you secretly have a crush on me, I will still respect any demonstrations of affection you have to offer. I understand that sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. Please, girls only.) Last week, someone asked me what I was doing to celebrate the big day. I looked shocked and replied that I had no idea. Since then, I've pondered how I should be feeling about . . . how I am feeling: ...

Why did I cut my hair? Everyone keeps asking me. I didn't have a great answer on the spot, so I am using this opportunity to process and think through my motivation. My Motivation On Wednesday, the 28th of January, I had a head-modeling gig at The Bridge ; it was the first of four sessions over the next month. Justin, who teaches on Wednesday nights, smiled and welcomed me on my way in. "You know, Bryan" he said pulling me off to the side. "I wouldn't be upset if you were to decide to shave your head for the next study. I mean, you TOTALLY don't have to; I'm just saying--you could do it." I pondered on his words for the rest of the night. The following day, I made a list of pros and cons. Some carried more weight than others, but in the end Pros won out. To Bic, or Not To Bic? Should I completely  bic my head? I'm so close anyway… Cons: It's winter and I hate being cold. I've always felt that shaved heads are goof...

Some of you know, I worked as a figure model for a few months to help pay the bills while living here at Carriage Cove. These are to studies that were given to me afterwards. Quiz Which of the following two drawings of me below is bigger than the true size of my head, and which one is less than a square inch? (You realize of course, that I intend to trick you; so good luck!) IMAGE A IMAGE B PLEASE LEAVE YOUR ANSWERS AND REASONING IN THE COMMENTS BOX BELOW. YOU CAN FIND THE ANSWERS POSTED IN A POST ENTITLED, " Bryan's Shine to Myself ."

Do you stalk people on facebook? Well, here's the latest way to add to your creepy bag of tricks! (Update: This worked back in 2009.  I'm pretty confident fb has shut down this security leak by now.)

This is the incher . It was drawn by Justin, one of Bridge's instructors, during some of his down time--in only 4 minutes. My roommate thinks it looks like George Washington. I take that as a compliment; he was a very handsome man. Notice that it sketched in pen. Here is a step-by-step of part of a painting Justin is working on. He just posted this video on the Academy's Blog: This next drawing was done by a talented student named Doug. He said he took somewhere between 3-5 hours before gifting it to me. It's now hanging in a 18"x24" frame above my dresser. I know—it's kind of vain and weird. I'm considering featuring it in a weird shrine and lighting those candles that sit down beneath it. Sarcastic shrine to myself.

In this month’s First Presidency Message (February 2009), Dieter F. Uchtdorf wrote of how Joseph Smith’s First Vision blesses people’s lives. He wrote, “Through his [Joseph Smith's] work and sacrifice, I now have a true understanding of our Heavenly Father and His Son, our Redeemer and Savior, Jesus Christ, and I can feel the power of the Holy Ghost, and know of Heavenly Father’s plan for us, His children. For me, these are truly the fruits of the First Vision.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, First Presidency Message, Precious Fruits of the First Vision, Ensign, February 2009, page 8) The "Ideas for Home Teachers" section recommends that families share what they feel are the fruits of the First Vision. Here is my fruitbasket: 1. Temple blessings restored. The blessings that are derived from having temples on the earth once again are immense! Temples allow my family (and future family) to live together forever. I will continue to receive promised blessing as I live ...

Full disclosure: This post has many generalizations. However, it is not going to be a Veg-Hatin' session. I aim to objectively look at the appeal of both of these preferred diets/life-styles and even share some anecdotal laughs from my own life. I encourage all 5 of my blog readers seriously consider the following: VEGANISM From Vegan.Org (The Official Website) What is a VEGAN? A vegan (pronounced VEE-gun) is someone who, for various reasons, chooses to avoid using or consuming animal products. While vegetarians choose not to use flesh foods, vegans also avoid dairy and eggs, as well as fur, leather, wool, down, and cosmetics or chemical products tested on animals. Why VEGAN?   Veganism, the natural extension of vegetarianism, is an integral component of a cruelty-free lifestyle. Living vegan provides numerous benefits to animals' lives, to the environment, and to our own health–through a healthy diet and lifestyle. Mission Story In 2001, when I was stil...

PREFACE Some of you have asked how much liberty I take in transcribing what I actually experience in my dreams to written word. Let me first say, that my dreams are so vivid, I truly believe that I am living them. Still, I realized that they are just dreams, which imbues me inhuman courage and presence-of-mind through my frequent life-or-death situations. This practiced calm may cross-over a little bit into my waking life. Anyway, when it comes to dream details, there are some circumstances when I don't actually hear words but feel specific ideas that are being communicated around me through body language and EPS, if you will. In other words, if a certain character could speak, their words would be indisputably clear. In very few circumstances, I "fill-in-the-blanks". For example, in this following dream sequence, I had a clear picture of what my dog, Dexter, looked like. However, I didn't remember his name upon awaking. So deducing from my memory of his app...

facebook: 25 Things I Didn't Want to Know About You. ( Time Magazine ) Wallstreet journal reasoning why GREED is GOOD. (Newspaper) High-Level CIA Officer: It Is Time to Re-Open the 9/11 Investigation. Just read the first paragraph--it's a fear starter! ( Reliable News Journal? ) CIA warns Barack Obama that Bri tish terrorists are the biggest threat to the US.--There's been a LOT of chatter. ( British Newspaper ) The Official Princess Bride Game. Only $10! ( Website ) Have you ever wondered what other people use for passwords? Well, a big internet site was just hacked, in which the hacker published 20,000 user passwords. Here is some analysis from that list: ( Business Magazine ) The Egyptian Version of Crop Circles . ( Reporting Website ) FDA: Plant knew peanuts laced with salmonella--scary! ( Yahoo News )

What News Anchors Do During Commercial Breaks? These partners definitely spent after-work hours developing this one! (The sound effects are the BEST!) Do you know how to HACK AN ELEVATOR ? This disgruntled Bellboy reveals the ferociously guarded secret of "THE EXPRESS" (Dad, I really want to know if this works at your office!) SHOW THIS VIDEO TO T-man AND Si-si . This video is geared toward children, ages 2-8. However, in case you're having a particularly somber week : play the following video clip and it might just cheer you up. Then again, it might make you want to punch small animals. Feel free to sing along.

When Chewbacca's not at his home on Kashyyyk with his Wookiee-wife named Mallatobuck, playing the field. (Apparently, that is acceptable in Wookie culture.) What makes Chewbacca so irresistible to the ladies? Here's my Top 10 List of What Makes Chewie Irresistible to the Ladies: 10. He's got hair! And tons of it. A lady could spend weeks running her fingers through it and still be left wanting more. 9. He is probably the best mechanic in the galaxy; engine-tinkering and weapons modifying are his specialties. 8. His masculine prowess and strength is compared to none, yet he also has a compassionate and sensitive side. 7. He doesn't say a lot, but when he does--you know it's heartfelt. 6. He's got some cool battle scars. 5. He can drink Han under the table. 4. He is loyal to a fault. 3. He's lethal with a crossbow. 2. He doesn't wear any clothes, except for an ammo belt across his chest. 1. He's got the fastest ride in the...