Tuesdays with Muerte

I'm Okay! Here's a great story about a drunk guy I met serendipitously outside of my apartment. The guy pictured above actually looks a lot like the guy I met tonight. THIS IS IN PROVO, MIND YOU! While you read this story, consider what you would have done had you been in my place: THE STORY OF JUSTIN I met a man named Justin in one of the boys buildings at Carriage Cove as he fell halfway down the stairs on his bike. "Do you live here?" I asked. Justin lit up a cigarette and took a long, interrupted drag. "No. I'm looking for Sara's house." Justin fell down again. "Whoa! That's steep." He then proceeded to tell me how he was dropped off here by "his friends" who didn't want him around anymore because he was gay. "Do you hate gays?" He asked me, breaking from his story (and obviously in search of new friends). He continued to explain in detail some of his sexual fantasies before I stopped h...

Special thanks to my good friends Ryan Tripp, Brian Zundel, David Cox, Mike Zimmerman for helping to create and christen Provo's NEWEST urban frisbee golf course. In fare weather, it takes about an hour each to play, both, the front and back nine holes of the course. We took special measures to design a course that would protect cars and swimmers from stray throws. We hope you enjoy it. Rules Order of Tee is decided by the lowest score on the previous hole. If the insides of apartments used in the holes are not available, just use their doormat. When throwing, throw from behind where your frisbee landed with respect to the direction you are about to throw it next. Your frisbee must be thrown from a controlled position; no jumping or leaning against objects. Out of Bounds (OB) is an automatic 1 stroke penalty and dropped perpendicular to the line of sight the hole on either side of you. Roof, sand, foreign balconies and the inside of the pool fence are all OB. If yo...

Long story short, Stef misplaced Scott's $500 glasses. Stef also needed to take the garbage out before cleaning checks in the morning. I volunteered to get my hands dirty and carefully sift through each garbage bag, piece by piece, as I poured them into the complex's dumpster at 2:10am this morning. I had Stef's headlamp on so that I could see in the dark. Out of the blue a girl walks up to the dumpster with her own trash. I was too tired to react with any emotion. All I could manage to say was, "Hi. Would you mind throwing yours towards the back for me?" Looking at her heavy bags, I realized how rude that sounded so I helped her by throwing them in for her. "Goodnight" I said, and went back to sifting. It was then, as she was just walking out of sight, that I realized she walking pretty fast toward her apartment and I looked like some creepy pervert at an all girls apartment complex dumpster--I've probably got less than 5 before a poli...

Before you watch this, know that this video MUST have been doctored. Just enjoy the ridiculous humor. Again, the last part of this video is not real. Don't worry about it.

First thing you need to know is that I'm on a new and improved sleeping schedule. I try to be asleep by midnight and up by 8am every day. Instead of setting a "bed time" goal for myself, I've set a "wake up time" which dictates when I choose to go to bed. If I go to bed super-late, I'll suffer in the morning. My only challenge with this new plan is that I still don't have a job or classes to get up for in the mornings. So far, I've spent my time going to the temple, giving plasma, taking walks and blogging. To make sure I follow through with this plan, I've built into my sleeping habits an "insurance policy." I usually wake up about three times before I actually get out of bed. Each time I wake up, I leave one of my limbs outside of the covers. By 8am, all of my extremities are exposed to the cool morning air and I'm ready to get out of bed.

I was pretty astounded when I first say these pictures. Then I saw this dude's thumb And I thought, "that dog would never stay in the bun" So I tried to replicate the effect: Scissors—Not quite high enough Febreze aerosol spray

Monday marked my first day of the 90 P90X workout regimen. My roommate Brian Gibson purchased the DVDs after watching an infomercial. His desire is to return to his high school physique. (In my opinion, that is impossible thing for anyone.) Including the resistance bands, all the nutritional supplements, and a few other things, he was out $300. He did the first 2 days but, for one reason or another, didn't finish the other 3 days of the week. When I returned from Ohio, I offered to join him as a workout partner. My goal is not to lose weight but to gain weight. My plan is to eat twice as much as I usually do by eating more healithy, more frequently. With any luck, I will gain muscle wight and not blubba weight. By September 15th, the plan is to look something, but not exactly, like this: Expect update pictures each month. Day 30 Check out the Official P90X Website: Xtreme Body Fitness Good news! If any one else wants a set of their own, I found a local ...

Did you know that Child Star, Gary Coleman lives in Santaquin, UT?! I sure didn't until this week! This is a picture of him after starring in "Different Strokes" but before he got married and moved out to Utah. (No, that is not a picture of his wife, below.) Catch Phrase : "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Fun Facts : Appearing on TV court in front of Mills Lane, Gary was ordered to pay bus driver Tracy Fields $1665 for hospital bills resulting from a fight stemming from an attempt to get an autograph in a Hawthorne, California mall. Gary said he felt threatened by her insistence and punched her in the head. [2 November 2000] Had his first kidney transplant in 1973. His second in 1984. Ranked #1 in VH1's list of the "100 Greatest Kid Stars". In 2005, ranked #10 in E's cutest child stars all grown-up. May 2000: Announced that he is going to run for the US Senate seat from California against incumbent Dianne ...

As an honor-code respecting BYU student, I've never trespassed into the bathroom of the opposite gender; that is …until today! Let me preface this story by saying, I if anyone had seen me, I definitely would have been arrested. I was lost walking around the residential area in SW Provo looking for a bunch of baseball fields I saw once from a hill. (And no, I never did end up finding them.) Suddenly, I needed to relieve myself. Fortunately, there was private elementary school across the street where I was standing. It was one of those schools where all the kids wore matching uniforms and 1/2 of the parents volunteered in the class rooms so the ratio was 1 parent to every 2 kids. Entering through the main doors I found no one at the receptionist position. I knocked and called, but no one came. A giant sign glared at me, "ALL VISITORS MUST SIGN IN AND WEAR A TIME STAMPED VISITOR'S PASS." However, I couldn't hold it. I took off down the wing labeled ...

-Woke up @ 5:45am. -Slept in until 8:45am. -Read a Priesthood Session conference talk by President Monson, Be Your Best Self . Here is a great promise he gave to home teachers: [Home teachers] may not necessarily be eloquent in their speech. They may not hold advanced degrees in difficult fields of study. They may very well be men of humble means. But God is no respecter of persons, and He will sustain His servants in righteousness as they avoid the evils of our day and live lives of virtue and purity. -Ate a bowl of metabolism boosting Wheaties and watched Taylor Swift's music video on the TV. -Went for a long walk. (See the entry above for details.) -Found a great car to buy. It's a black 2003 Acura 3.2 LT - Sport for 10K. -Hit up DI and got some sweet shirts for me and some friends. -Visited Carriage Cove friends at their apartments. -Made myself 2 gigantic sandwiches for lunch. -Swam and chillaxed at the pool for an hour and a half. -Went to Chase, ...

A Classic Sumo Move Is that the forest that JS comes running out of in the old First Vision video? For, notwithstanding the great love which the converts to these different faiths expressed at the time of their conversion, and the great zeal manifested by the respective clergy, who were active in getting up and promoting this extraordinary scene of religious feeling, in order to have everybody converted, as they were pleased to call it, let them join what sect they pleased; yet when the converts began to file off, some to one party and some to another, it was seen that the seemingly good feelings of both the priests and the converts were more pretended than real; for a scene of great confusion and bad feeling ensued—priest contending against priest, and convert against convert; so that all their good feelings one for another, if they ever had any, were entirely lost in a strife of words and a contest about opinions. [JSH 1:6] Lance's Secret to Success Chinese LEGOS UP house in real...

What is a Carbon Footprint ? Part of Speech: n Definition: a measure of the amount of carbon dioxide produced by a person, organization, or location at a given time. Example: Carbon footprint describes the environmental impact of carbon emissions, measured in units of carbon dioxide. [Your personal contribution to global warming.] Etymology: 1999 Online Calculator ---------------- Listening to: Braveheart - A Gift of a Thistle

William is a member of my apartment complex. I was out playing frisbee when I saw him ride by on his nice-looking mountain bike. " Know any good tricks? " I asked him. " Sure let me show you... "

My aunt, Charlene Ford, made some incredible kebabs at a family get together on Mother's Day 2009. Since then, I've probably made 3 or 4 separate batches of kebabs — I just can't get enough! ---------------- Listening to: Josh Groban - Oceano

Notice that they are both bright orange. They match. This is so that I don't get lost up on Utah State's campus where I don't know anybody. Matchy Matchy