As an honor-code respecting BYU student, I've never trespassed into the bathroom of the opposite gender; that is …until today! Let me preface this story by saying, I if anyone had seen me, I definitely would have been arrested.
I was lost walking around the residential area in SW Provo looking for a bunch of baseball fields I saw once from a hill. (And no, I never did end up finding them.) Suddenly, I needed to relieve myself. Fortunately, there was private elementary school across the street where I was standing. It was one of those schools where all the kids wore matching uniforms and 1/2 of the parents volunteered in the class rooms so the ratio was 1 parent to every 2 kids. Entering through the main doors I found no one at the receptionist position. I knocked and called, but no one came. A giant sign glared at me, "ALL VISITORS MUST SIGN IN AND WEAR A TIME STAMPED VISITOR'S PASS."
However, I couldn't hold it. I took off down the wing labeled "Lincoln" in search of their tiny facilities. After passing the gym filled with both parents and students, I spotted the boys' sign on the opposite side of the hall. Heart already pounding, I ducked into washroom and sat down in the nearest stall, not wanting to spend any extra time in there that I needed to.
While I sat, I had time to appreciate how clean their bathrooms were. I'd never seen a boys restroom ThAT clean! The stall was also equipped with a feminine product disposal bin. "That's weird." I thought. "Why would they install fem-boxes in a boys' room? …Oh well."
It was only after I had carefully washed my hands and snuck back out the front doors and down the street that I put two and two together! I had accidentally used the little girls' room! What would have happened if the bell had rung and a gaggle of middle-school-age girls, or younger, came piling into the bathroom where I was hiding?
What would I have done then?! I probably would have just lifted my feet and waited out the 10-minute passing break, praying my grown-up heart out that my presence remained undetected. If I had been thinking straight, the honorable thing would have been pretend I was maintenance and to yell at the first person who tried to enter that I was cleaning and that the bathroom was closed, flushing the toilet a few times to sell the pitch.
All I can say is I am LU-UCKY!
Nice work, that would have been terrifying to be almost caught. Thanks for coming to visit us!!!!! We love you Uncle Bry. - Phil
ReplyDeletewow. You are LU-UCKY! Wow. That would have been so bad Bry! Elementary schools had "intruder practices" you know...
ReplyDeleteYes, Bryan, you were lucky! You might have had to spend the night in the stall with your feet pressed against the door to escape detection. Next time, try reading the door signs. If the sign says "GIRLS," don't enter!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of pretending you were the janitor, that just might have worked! How funny, I wonder if it's more common for girls to go in men's bathrooms or vice versa. I know I've used a Men's a number of times merely because the line for the Women's was so outrageously long.
ReplyDeleteThis was an AWESOME story - so glad you weren't incarcerated. I've used the mens' room a few times, but all have been "allowed" - blocked off for use by women. In and out of the country.
ReplyDeleteAs a law-abiding US citizen I am honor bound to report you to the authorities for inappropriate use of the facilities. Report to Columbus, Ohio immediately for your arraignment.
ReplyDeleteGood one, Rick! Quick thinking, Bryan! I hope it's a long time before you find yourself caught short like that again! ;)
ReplyDeletelol wow, you got lucky! that's pretty scary though that there was nobody at the front desk...
ReplyDelete