Costume Poker Night with Jesse "The Shark"

Last night was poker night at Oakridge Apartments. I was invited to go over to a friend's apartment for a evening of six-person, Texas Hold 'em. The rules were no limit (convenient since we weren't playing for real money), and only one buyback, but once you were knocked out you couldn't win, it was just so you weren't bored for the rest of the night.

I heard that real poker players will dress up and be really distracting to take their opponent's minds off of their cards. James Bond usually has a gorgeous girl at his shoulder. The champion of a 10 million dollar poker tournament wore fossilized glasses the entire time [fossilized glasses are ones that you may have seen that reflect eyeballs when others look at them]. I heard that another prominent player wears their baseball hat inside out and backwards and their glasses upside down on their face.

In order to create an advantage for myself, I created a poker alter-ego named Jesse "the Shark" Faugelhorn. My signature move what when I revealed a winning hand, I would make the sound of a victory foghorn. (It got pretty annoying because I won a lot of hands.) But then I would always apologize afterward for taking everyone's chips.

After 3 1/2 hours of play, Jesse "the Shark" was the last fish in the pond. The following distractions seemed to do the trick for me:

*Little girl's wig
*James Bond T-shirt
*Tattoo sleeve
*Cowboy hat
*Occasional accent

Although Bryan Tanner has never won a hand of poker in his life, Jesse "the Shark" remains undefeated!