Why do many single, LDS men lack what it takes to act upon the things we know to be true? I speak generally in respect to "truths" because each of us have individual and distinct reasons (root causes) that keep us from stepping up to our shared challenge and goal of receiving the Celestial ordinance of marriage.
In a world filled with discouragement and despair, media can serve as a welcomed friend. A retreat from the pangs of real life. Need to kill two hours or more? You don't drink? No problem! Throw in a couple of movies or just turn on your favorite video game.
Surrounded by a plethora of virtual distractions, the allure to escape is easy and strong. As we retreat further and further into the world of media however, we voluntarily disconnect from our own lives. I have not seen one television show yet that incorporates a time for reflection, where the viewer is encouraged to apply righteous morals to our own lives. (Exceptions: G.I. Joe, Captain Planet)
For example, everyday, when I get home from work, I am faced with the decision to call someone up for a date or slip into Media-land. the decision is simple. I sacrifice the finite amount of energy I have left, which I should be spending on progressing and basically choose "good" and "better" activities to do. If I don't actively set and work toward goals, I'll turn to surfing the web or watching a TV show or movie as a default.
Why do we choose media as an escape? The answer is simple. We no longer have to worry about agency. We "do" nothing on the couch. We passively flip our lives on to auto-pilot and allow our preferred media to take control of our lives. Some of us attempt to justify our delusions in a number of ways. We say:
- I can stop whenever I want
- I don't engage all that often
- What I'm doing is not bad. In fact, it's educational
- It's preparing me for real life
- I learn valuable life lessons when I participate
(*New Video Game Genre Idea: A disparaging video game that simulates the never-ending frustrations of real life. The game would have no happy outcomes--just a negative spiral to moral destruction. Wow. This game could get dark really fast. On second thought, it might sell really well.)
Fascinating. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Like any habit, we often rationalize away the way we spend our time.
ReplyDeletePS - I don't think your new real life video game will catch on . . .
I agree.
ReplyDeleteI recently cut back nearly all movies or tv that I don't watch with someone else, which means I'm watching TV only once a week or so. It's amazing what a difference it makes. Now I have little trouble finding time to rock climb, skateboard, cook good meals, go to yoga, and even read books sometimes.
Good post. I always think it's really good when I agree with everything! Hey- see Portfolio/Skills Add: Baptize the cube in under 4 minutes!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ladies for your support.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this on Sunday after my 30-year-old roommate "set a goal" to watch every bad movie ever made in the 80's.
Bryan, this is a very thoughtful post with some extremely good points. And I say that as one who goes on media auto pilot from time to time. Too much of anything becomes detrimental, media being no exception. It’s escapism that is often abused. It’s easy to do, and if left to his own devices, man would sit on the couch in his underpants eating Cheetos.
ReplyDeleteAs for marriage, I would not consider this particular form escapism as the primary cause of not moving forward. Media distraction is symptom. Fear (or the lack of faith), is the underlying problem. Media and many other things contribute to this.
Update on the roommate and his 80’s goal: Not sure where he is at with those movies. But he was cuddling with a girl yesterday. That’s Progress folks!
Eve -- Your example is inspiring. What if a media addict were to take the challenge to only participate in media when physically accompanied by another non-media addict? I would anticipate two, positive outcomes: the first would be a reduced number of hours engaged in media. Adding someone else to the equation is key in this effect because the individual would feel bad luring someone else into their neurosis. The second would be an increase in other social activities. The friend would know beforehand of the addict's situation and if they feel they are exceeding their limit for media consumption, they can suggest another activity to do together. (All this would require great self-control on behalf of the addict, which, by definition, would be next to impossible.)
ReplyDeleteDave -- Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I didn't mean to offend anyone by posting this, and I'm glad it wasn't received that way. This was written in frustration; I was just trying to sort out some of my own thoughts.
You bring up a terrific point that "media is a symptom," not the primary cause. You're right that fear is the culprit. And what power can overcome fear? Faith in Jesus Christ.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Tim. 1:6–7.)
Have we forgotten that we are heirs of divine parentage? When we choose to submit to our fears, I submit that we have.
“Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail…
“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.
"Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven.” (D&C 6:34, 36–37.)