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The "New Mexican Foxhole"

(AP) PROVO, Utah — "A New Mexico soccer player has become an Internet celebrity for the wrong reasons.  Junior defender Elizabeth Lambert was suspended Friday for her infractions the day before during a 1-0 loss to BYU in a Mountain West Conference semifinal. Lambert is seen in video from the game throwing elbows, causing major collisions with at least 5 players and then yanking the ponytail of a BYU player who went crashing to the ground."

Who was culprit and who was the victim at the BYU v. New Mexico Women's semifinal soccer match. In reality, it's difficult to define WHO was roughing WHO. Sure, Elizabeth Lambert wears her emotions on her sleeve. However, I would argue that Lambert's emotional forthrightness is more ethical and sporting than staging secret attacks on an opponent, all the while wearing a pleasant smile.
Oooouuh, those dishonest, cocky smiles. Look closely again at the video before Lambert's flamboyant jab to see BYU's #7 elbow Lambert in the solar-plexus. YOU CAN DIE FROM THAT! And then, just before the infamous hair-pull, you'll witness BYU's #21 body-block Lambert and grab her privates. You'd better believe Lambert put a stop to that right quick. Granted, Lambert crossed the line, and deserved to be suspended. What should have been "a physical attempt at avoiding the situation crossed over into the realm of vicious revenge.

Here is a animated .gif image showcasing more of Lambert's blind rage of retribution. Click here for MOAR awesome video clips featuring Lambert bashing heads. Let me warn you; after seeing some of these, you are going to want to hate Lil' ol' Liz, but try to resist the urge.

gif image of Lambert being brutal

What should she have done?  Should she taken BYU's provocations lying down?  NO! When attacked, I am a firm believer in the old adage, "the best defense is a good offense."

In court, Lambert could have easily plead "self-preservation." The only reason she was labeled the "bad-girl" in the first place (aside from the evident fact that she emotionally snapped) was because of her body language after the fact;  Lambert was visibly disgusted with how she was being treated, while BYU's doe-eyed players were all shocked they would warrant any type of retaliation.  I especially appreciated the clip where the BYU player rubs the score [1-0] in Lambert's face.

Some people think these incessant mini-attacks from BYU are "all part of the game." They are, unfortunately right. And that, my friends, is why I choose not to play soccer. Along with the fact that I am too physically inept to meet the cardio requirements soccer demands.

Who is was the real victim in this semifinal match between BYU and New Mexico. Again, I contend that poor Elizabeth and her fellow Lobos were provoked by BYU's team of brutal Barbies.

Sometimes, it is the victim that has to end the fight.

Then again, I really can't say because I wasn't there. BYU may have been completely innocent and I just naturally side with the hopeless cases. (That's my way of saying, "disregard any credibility I may appear to have.")

Moral of the Story


I you ever throw someone down by their hair, DON'T BACK AWAY or you'll get in trouble!  Instead, get down on your knees, like your that person's mother and stroke their head repeating, "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry. It's ok. You're alright." If she makes another advance at you while she's down, you are well within your rights and proximity to finish her.

p.s. That hair pull was EPIC!  It will be remembered by many for a long, long time.  I'm sure it already has a name, but for the record, I will refer to the move as "The New Mexican Foxhole."  Had they been in a firefight and Lambert had pulled her down into a foxhole, that BYU girl would be thanking her profusely.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Comments

  1. Upon reviewing what i've written here, I feel little remorse for Lambert.

    She was emotionally unstable; literally a danger to herself and to others.

    She must have had a traumatic childhood. I wonder if she is on heavy meds?

    Laying blame aside, that was ONE EPIC HAIR-PULL!

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