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My Blasphemous Sacrament Fantasy


There's something I've always wanted to do, but will never actually do, out of fear of being sent straight to Hell.  Because in order to do this, I would be breaking one of the Lord's 10 commandments given to Moses—taking the Lord's name in vain.  I know it's wrong, but at my young age, I also can't help but think it would be a little bit funny too. I hope one day soon, I'll grow out of this urge...

So here's my confession: I've always wanted to record the sacramental prayers at church on Sunday. If I recorded each of the sacramental prayers every week for an entire year, that would yield 100 different prayers/year, [±4], adjusting for conferences and inclement weather.

Why would I go to so much trouble? Because it would be hilarious.

Each prayer, over the bread and water, begins with the phrase, "Oh, God." Some people voice it really slowly, while others say the words like they're about to beg for their lives. Some people use their "spiritual-voice", while some are all boisterous about it. The eclectic collection of their voices would create a very, very humorous supercut of everyone saying it in succession; that is, if it weren't so sacred.

p.s. Next time you are listening to a sacramental prayer, just mentally truncate the prayer after the words, "oh God." Then, try not to laugh at the juxtaposition of the insincere sound in comparison to the sacred setting.

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