Skip to main content

Star Wars Tauntaun Sleeping Bag



Slumber in the Belly of the Beast

In the sub-zero wasteland of the planet Hoth, only the strong survive... and of course those lucky Jedi protected by the thick skin of a Tauntaun.“This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull. Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is “Attack of the Clones” you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of Empire Strikes Back. Use the glowing lightsaber zipper pull on the Tauntaun sleeping bag to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass. If your kids don’t change their tune on which Star Wars film is the greatest ever, you can do your best Jar Jar impression until they repent.”

Comments

  1. NatalieDThu Apr 02, 09:52:00 PM MDT

    Dearest Bryan,
    Where do you come up with this stuff????? You certainly are a creative soul if there ever was one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. evieperkinsFri Apr 03, 07:33:00 AM MDT

    I think I want one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. NoelleMon Apr 06, 09:40:00 AM MDT

    Oh my gosh, that is cool yet disgusting. wow. I echo Natalie, where on earth do you hear about these things?!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Please share your thoughts.

Popular posts from this blog

Rummi-"CUB" vs. Rummi-"CUBE"

The "Rummikub" Pronunciation Debate Affirmative Constructive: "Cub" For years, I have been a firm advocate and defender of the pronunciation, Rummi-"CUB".  The game box I grew up with spelled it, Rummicub  on the box. However, other productions of the game have variant spellings: Rummykub , Rummy Kube , Rummy Tiles , etc.  Based solely on box spelling, the game's true pronunciation is open to interpretation. Therefore, Rummi"cub" is equally acceptable to any other given pronunciation. Negative  Constructive : "Cube" My opponents argue that since the game originated over seas, we ought to respect and maintain its original pronunciation. Affirmative Rebuttal: Americanization of the Term When the game was brought to America and given Americanized rules, its name was also Americanized. Pronunciation loyalists then counter my rebuttal with, "there are lots of adopted foreign words that have retained their original pron...
5 comments
Read more

Who's Got The Funk?

I am an amateur guitarist, and I've got no funk. My musical skills seem to lacking that special something . Great musicians have it . Those fortunate enough to have gotten hold of  it , create timeless hits. While musicians without it  fade into oblivion. After spending hours searching through Blues history websites and 1970's band documentaries online, I discovered what that special something  is thank to a (70% Man, 30% fish) character from the BBC show "The Mighty Boosh" named Old Gregg. He identified that  thing  as  The Funk ! But what exactly is The Funk ? Here is some dialogue from the show to help explain its origin and purpose: Old Gregg: You're a musician, yeah? Howard: Yes I am. Old Gregg: Butchya ain't very good, are ya? Howard: I'm one of the best in town. Old Gregg: Come on, I read your reviews. Hmm? You know what your problem is? Howard: What? Old Gregg: Ya ain't got the funk. You're all rigid. Hmm? You're l...
2 comments
Read more

The Hit Single *Bang!* by AJR is about Suicide

Introduction I listened to the lyrics to the AJR song,  BANG!  for the first time today and immediately noticed its connection to suicide. Curious why this wasn't obvious to more people, I googled it and discovered that I may be  one of the few people who think this way. I'm not crazy, right? Pexels.com Song Analysis Listen to the chorus: "Everybody come hang (come hang). Let's go out with a bang. Bang! Bang! Bang!" These repeated words brought to my mind a couple of terrifying statistics:  Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for college-age youth and youth ages 12-18 ( CDC WISQARS ) The two leading methods of suicide (in high-income countries) are hanging and firearms ( The Parent Resource Program ). As I continued to examine the song lyrics, I realized EVERYTHING about the song supported my interpretation. This radio hit doesn't necessarily glorify suicide. It's more of a social commentary on the frustrating plight of American youngsters. It ...
1 comment
Read more