Skip to main content

Star Wars Tauntaun Sleeping Bag



Slumber in the Belly of the Beast

In the sub-zero wasteland of the planet Hoth, only the strong survive... and of course those lucky Jedi protected by the thick skin of a Tauntaun.“This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull. Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is “Attack of the Clones” you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of Empire Strikes Back. Use the glowing lightsaber zipper pull on the Tauntaun sleeping bag to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass. If your kids don’t change their tune on which Star Wars film is the greatest ever, you can do your best Jar Jar impression until they repent.”

Comments

  1. Dearest Bryan,
    Where do you come up with this stuff????? You certainly are a creative soul if there ever was one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my gosh, that is cool yet disgusting. wow. I echo Natalie, where on earth do you hear about these things?!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Please share your thoughts.

Popular posts from this blog

Rummi-"CUB" vs. Rummi-"CUBE"

The "Rummikub" Pronunciation Debate Affirmative Constructive: "Cub" For years, I have been a firm advocate and defender of the pronunciation, Rummi-"CUB".  The game box I grew up with spelled it, Rummicub  on the box. However, other productions of the game have variant spellings: Rummykub , Rummy Kube , Rummy Tiles , etc.  Based solely on box spelling, the game's true pronunciation is open to interpretation. Therefore, Rummi"cub" is equally acceptable to any other given pronunciation. Negative  Constructive : "Cube" My opponents argue that since the game originated over seas, we ought to respect and maintain its original pronunciation. Affirmative Rebuttal: Americanization of the Term When the game was brought to America and given Americanized rules, its name was also Americanized. Pronunciation loyalists then counter my rebuttal with, "there are lots of adopted foreign words that have retained their original pron...

The Secret Reason Why "Good Witch" Feels Emotionally Off

TL;DR It's the Botox. For the past 3 months, my wife, Stacia, and I have been watching  Good Witch  (via Netflix and Amazon Prime). Stacia adores winding down to "Hallmark-y shows." We can rely on Good Witch episodes to always resolve happily. The episodes are never too intense. The height of conflict revolves around things like someone's inability to locate the perfect spot to snap a romantic photo for a new tourism brochure. I consider my time watching these shows spouse bonding time , and emotional training. My favorite thing about watching feel-good shows with Stacia is getting to observe her facial reactions to the on-screen drama. When two people lean in for a long-anticipated kiss, Stacia tucks her knees into her chest and frowns with her forehead while lifting her chin and bottom lip. While I'm typically unable to suspend my disbelief, Stacia seems completely entranced by the various characters' emotions. Wishing I could join her in being swept aw...

Who's Got The Funk?

I am an amateur guitarist, and I've got no funk. My musical skills seem to lacking that special something . Great musicians have it . Those fortunate enough to have gotten hold of  it , create timeless hits. While musicians without it  fade into oblivion. After spending hours searching through Blues history websites and 1970's band documentaries online, I discovered what that special something  is thank to a (70% Man, 30% fish) character from the BBC show "The Mighty Boosh" named Old Gregg. He identified that  thing  as  The Funk ! But what exactly is The Funk ? Here is some dialogue from the show to help explain its origin and purpose: Old Gregg: You're a musician, yeah? Howard: Yes I am. Old Gregg: Butchya ain't very good, are ya? Howard: I'm one of the best in town. Old Gregg: Come on, I read your reviews. Hmm? You know what your problem is? Howard: What? Old Gregg: Ya ain't got the funk. You're all rigid. Hmm? You're l...