Dream Journal: Progression of Nightmares (February 6, 2009)

PREFACE

Last night's nightmare gradually transformed from bad to worse. I woke up multiple times throughout the sequence of dreams, which usually never happens.

DREAM

1) Sinking Sandtraps


Not having played golf in a long time, I was surprised to find that many of the rules have changed: Instead of playing two sets of nine short holes, you now play two sets of two long holes. The course actually resembles the game of Shoots and Ladders. I discovered this the hard way when I hit my ball in the sand on the "first hole." I went to pitch it out when I sunk through the sand and found myself at the beginning tee. As the course progressed, I made very sure to stay away from the sand traps, but I never did find the equivalent to the ladders. I suspect that if you hit the ball on the exact middle of the fare-way, the grass acts like a moving-walkway that you would find at an airport and carries your ball great distances, around corners, and even to adjacent holes. There did exist a myth that if you hit your ball into certain trees, the tree would warp your ball onto holes far ahead in the course. One man even claimed to know where one of these tree was, but he could never warp his ball because it would only activate if the ball had been traveling for more than 50 yards.

2) Nepotism at the Testing Center


Days after my USU application was turned in, I was informed that my application status was still incomplete. I hurriedly called the admissions office who told me that after taking the GRE, I was required to take a mandatory "exit IQ test". I complied by asking the time and location of the next place it was being offered. I was directed to a high school in Helper, UT.

When I arrived at the testing location, I found that the room was an auditorium reserved for testing during school hours. I was told I had 4 hours available to study before I needed to take the test. I found a quiet corner in one of the hallways and sat down to review my study book. Within moments, a Hispanic Hall Monitor approached me and reprimanded me for conspiring to sell drugs to the students. "Where's your hall pass?" the Monitor demanded. "I'm just here studying for the IQ test" I replied. "No hall pass? You going to lock down! Four hours in the box will teach you." threatened the Monitor.

I ran. Outside. Dodging students as I hid myself amongst the portables. Had I given myself up to the monitor, I would have missed the testing time. Enabling gorilla tactics, I evaded the entire team of Hispanic Hall Monitors for the next four hours--barely. Naturally, I didn't get any studying done.

Somehow, I managed to sneak myself in to the testing auditorium. To my surprise, the Hall Monitors were ALSO the Test Proctors at the IQ Test. I was done for--sabotaged from the start.

I sat down on a end seat and was handed my test. "You have one hour. Begin." Many around me whipped open their test booklets. Then an announcement was made informing test-takers that if you are on an isle seat, you will be suspected of cheating. I promptly moved seats toward the middle. The announcer came on again saying that if you were within two seats of anyone else, you will also be suspect of cheating. I looked around for a new seat. The only viable option was on the empty top row. I moved there, and once again was forced to move when I was specifically told that anyone with a row to themselves was definitely suspect of cheating. Fed up, I set up a chair at the front of the room right next to one of the seated proctors. The proctor nervously got up and went to consult with the announcer. The announcer fell silent. Finally.

Opening the test booklet, I found Korean instructions. No other English speakers seemed to be having problems so I assumed that mine was the only test in Korean. However, I didn't want to be accused of cheating by looking at the actual test itself, so I quickly closed the test booklet and stood up to find the lead proctor. "¡Sientate, Vato! A proctor b-lined it to the front where I was standing. "I need to find someone who can replace my test for a new one." "You can't" the proctor said, " you've already opened your test."

To make an excruciatingly long story short, I waited an hour outside the admin office, deliberating over whether or not I should finish at least a few questions before the hour is up. The testing time ended and the Hispanic Administrator emerged from his office. I made my case and was curtly turned down. Emotionally distraught and nearly crying, I found the Administrator's boss and left her with some heroic, closing words:

[I can't exactly remember now what I said, but it was Oscar-worthy. Something to the effect of your policies need a review, your nepotistic administrator and his band of Hispanic cousins and brother's-in-law colluded to make me fail, and my feeling were deeply hurt.]

3) The Devil is a member of Daft Punk


At this point, all I can remember is that Jojo and I were trying to meet up with each other the whole dream. There was a heavy music beat accompanying the dream. The elephants were having babies at the zoo. Motorcycle gangs chased me around a residential lot and a shipping yard. And at the end, Jojo and I finally met up when I was walking up the steps to my apartment--but then everything went slow-mo, and the heavy music got louder and louder until the Devil drove up in a Cadillac DeVille that was pimped out to look like a helmet from Daft Punk. The dream ended when I dove into her passenger-side window and screamed for her to floor it. (I knew that if the Devil opened his car door, we would be charred by the glory of his evil presence.

Then I woke up. I just don't think my mind could take any more. The last time I woke, my sheets were drenched in sweat as if a fever broke. I must be nervous/preoccupied with sports, grad school apps and Jojo/The Devil.