Bullies are Born of Shame

Exploring Shame at BYU

I recently had the opportunity to look at data from a BYU "Shame" study conducted by some Counseling & Psychology professors (CPSE department). Their comparative analysis provided evidence that BYU students (overall) feel less shame than students on other university campuses. This got me thinking...people feel and manifest shame in many different ways. How do BYU folks manifest shame?

DeviantArt

First of all, why do any of us feel shame? Zoobies (pseudonym for BYU students) are raised to be judgmental from a young age—constantly being asked to discern between good and evil. We are able to make this distinction by paying attention to the light of Christ, which some refer to as a conscience (Moroni 7:16-19). When we act against our consciences, or choose evil, we experience a "whip" of guilt from that divine light within us to let us know we are off track. Through the Atonement of Christ, we can repent and be forgiven of our trespasses, when we stray from the light. I know what it feels like to experience this forgiveness. When I have repented of mistakes, my feelings of guilt and shame are replaced with peace and love. Unfortunately, I have observed a disparity between what we teach about repentance (doctrine) and how we live as a people (culture). Unfortunately, LDS culture dictates that having a lapse in judgement (or making a mistake) is simply UNACCEPTABLE, for lack of a better word. For LDS youth, this false belief engenders fear to ever make a mistake, which inevitably develops into behaviors of hiding, continued inappropriate judgement, and self-loathing. When the cause for these shameful feelings and behaviors is not addressed, one looks for (and finds) causes elsewhere. These pent-up emotions are expressed in the judgement of others. In other words, those who judge others do so to the degree that they, themselves feel judged—either by their own judgements or by the judgements of others.

The LDS Church claims to preach the Atonement and mercy of Christ, but in practice our culture doesn't afford youth the opportunity to apply it. The BYU Honor Code is a perfect synecdochic illustration. Upon admission to BYU, "elite LDS youth" are required to sign an honor code, which entitles the university to revoke admission to any student that is found not adhering to the (many, specific) rules. By virtue of their age, typical 17-19 years old "adults" quickly read the document, sign it, and call it good. They then rely on their familiarity with the commandments to help them navigate any context-specific situations that might arise. The problem with this behavior is that everyone sins and make mistakes everyday—even BYU students (Bryan added sarcastically). Could some of those sins be serious enough to be grounds for dismissal from BYU? Perhaps! Therefore, students are intimidated into silence. (I would admit that all humans, to one degree or another, feel this way. But the more rules you have to keep, the higher the odds you'll break them and thus subsequently feel ashamed of your mistakes. This especially applies to Mormons --> even more to Mormons in Utah and --> and even more to Mormon youth in Utah Valley.) This leads me to my thesis:

Misdirected shame leads to the judgement of others!

Provo students are conflicted because they walk around with their heads held high after being repeatedly told that they are the "best and brightest," yet on the inside, they regularly feel like this: