New Singles Ward FHE Co-Chair: Building a Fellowshipping Program from the Ground Up

The LDS singles ward is an enigmatic creature within the ecclesiastical kingdom. No one really knows how to classify nor maintain them. Purposes and regulations aimed at families must be massaged and molded to fit the needs of the dis-enfamilied young, Basically, singles ward leaders study the church administration manuals, then simply take their best shot at making interpretations to meet their wards' needs.

For example, I have never been clear on how to adapt the direction provided in the LDS Church Handbook of Instruction regarding family-oriented programs, like Family Home Evening (FHE) for singles wards. These disenfranchised young single adults (YSAs), primarily comprises of unwed students and young professionals, congregate together in search of love and support (whether they realize their need or not).

Today, I was asked to help assuage that universal need in my local singles ward by serving as an FHE Co-Chair. Up to this point, the ward had a lone, FHE group leader fruitlessly trying to wrangle everyone together Monday nights for a semblance of what FHE is for typical families (man & wife + any kids). We are going to make some changes that hopefully will call out more powerfully and personally to every young, single adult in our congregation. I share the following artifacts so future YSAs called to my position can learn (for better or for worse) from my experience.

http://proclamationpictures.blogspot.com/

Co-chair responsibilities (Kristin and Myself)

• Set vision for Ward FHE program Facilitate regular Group Leader Training
• Be accountable for health of ward FHE
• Receive regular updates from group leaders
• Four groups total; each co-chair responsible for 2 groups
• Both participate in bi-weekly ward council 

“Latter-day prophets have counseled parents to hold a weekly family home evening to teach their children the gospel, bear testimony of its truthfulness, and strengthen family unity. Stake and ward leaders are to keep Monday evenings free from all Church meetings and activities so family home evenings may be held. Family home evening may include family prayer, gospel instruction, testimony sharing, hymns and Primary songs, and wholesome recreational activities. (For information on using music in the home, see 14.8.) As part of family home evening, or separately, parents may also call a periodic family council to set goals, resolve problems, coordinate schedules, and give support and strength to family members. Family home evening is sacred, private family time under the direction of the parents. Priesthood leaders should not give directions as to what families should do during this time."  Church Handbook 2 of Instruction, 1.4.2 

In a Nutshell, we are supposed to:

1. Teach the gospel
2. Bear testimony of its truthfulness
3. Strengthen family unity

Our Ward FHE mission

“The purpose of FHE is to strengthen our discipleship of Christ by giving everyone an opportunity to teach and testify, friendshipping and fellowshipping with one another (esp. those not present) and establishing a lifelong habit putting God first.”

FHE Group leader expectations (Distribute as a Job-aid Handout)

• Please make sure someone is reaching out and caring for every member of your group.
• Not to freak you out, but…we want you to feel responsible (in-part) for the spiritual and temporal welfare of your group members; just think of yourselves as an extra set of parents. (Resource: Proclamation)We ask that you hold weekly Monday-night (and Sunday for Robin’s Group) meetings that follow the ward FHE mission.
• You do not have to do this alone.  Let your group members help you in the rescue effort.
• What makes family home evening successful? (suggestions from LDS.org)
• Start and end with prayer. This invites the Spirit, increases love, and teaches your family how to pray.
• Learn from the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets to help your family live the gospel.
• Add music, such as hymns and Primary songs, to create an atmosphere of love, peace, and joy. (Visit the music site)
• Make it fun by playing games, acting out scripture stories, and making treats. Keep the atmosphere light and loving.
• Be consistent. Monday nights are set aside by the Church for family home evening. If that doesn’t work, find a night that does. (See Elder Bendar’s third suggestion for becoming more diligent and concerned at the home.)
• Add variety. Help a neighbor in need, hold a lesson at the park, or go for a walk as a family.
• Teach from the Family Home Evening Resource Book.  “The Family Home Evening Resource Book has two major goals: to build family unity and to teach gospel principles. Although much of the material in this book is for parents with children, care has been taken to provide material for most age-groups and family situations. Everyone can benefit from studying the gospel and applying its principles in his life.”
• Encourage participation.  Participation doesn’t mean just assigning various responsibilities, such as prayers, singing, or reading, to different members. It means freely sharing thoughts, ideas, and feelings that pertain to the lesson. (DC 88:122)
• Scheduling
• Calendar activities at least 1 month ahead of time.
• Inform your group members of activities somehow 1 week ahead so they can prepare.
• Make sure Kristin and Bryan and plugged into your group’s scheduling system. We may know of conflicting stuff that we can warn you about.
• FHE Budget = not a lot...
• Broken down each group could have about $2/week [$370.54 total].  Rather than dividing it up like that, talk with Kristin or Bryan if you need $ for an activity.
• For reimbursement forms, talk with Skylar.
• We will meet quarterly to celebrate and share successes as an FHE committee.

Initial Group Leader Training Meeting Agenda

• Bryan—conduct
• Kristin—spiritual thought; something that re-enforces the mission. E.g., the merit of teaching and learning the gospel together (DC 88:122).
• Finalize our Ward FHE Mission statement all together
• Decide and set expectations together regarding what FHE should entail.
• Read Handbook, “Priesthood leaders should not give directions as to what families should do during this time.”  We trust you to follow the Spirit and provide the direction that your specific group needs.  Whatever discussion follows are to be considered guidelines and helpful suggestions to get you started.
• What should the lesson be like?
• Participation is key to engagementàspiritual growth
• Should we have an activity?
• If you do, be careful not to break church guidelines.  Talk with K or B with plenty of time ahead just in case there is a problem.
• Should we have food?
• If you do, you might consider reaching out to a less-active member of your group to fulfill a ward assignment
• Assign apartment to bring (Cook or buy)
• Out of your pocket
• “What am I suppose to be doing as a Group Leader?” (Define these roles together.)
• Get a list of your group members from K or B.
• Link to master Google doc
• Establish a clear system of communication/calendaring with your co-group leader
• I’ve created a default Google Calendar for you to use, if you so choose.
• Establish a definite time and location that people can depend on.
• It’s okay to make adjustments as long as your communication network is strong. (Not just a haphazard announcement.)
• Cont. reviewing tips for success from handout.

General things for group leaders to consider with your co

• How are we going to make assignments?

• Make assignments by apartment.  Make an assignment chart/wheel.
• Get an individual’s name for accountability.

• If you have a proactive group from the get-go, let individuals and/or apartments sign up on a roles in each of the FHE night.
• Follow the Spirit week to week.  Maybe you do it.  Maybe you notice someone is there and extend a special invitation to them to participate.
• Why do our group members choose not to go to FHE, and what you can do about it:
• “I don’t know when lesson is.”
• “It’s going to take too long.”
• “I have a scheduling conflict (studying, working, watching tv, etc.)”
• “I do an alternative activity with boyfriend/girlfriend.”
• “It’s just a big social event; it offers no spiritual edification.”
• “I’m kind of a recluse.”
• “Not social enough; I’d go if the cute people would show up.”
• A week from now (Feb 26th), we want you as co-chairs to adopt a scripturally-based theme for your group; something that conveys your group’s take on our FHE mission.  Also, declare your new group name. (Something more memorable, and hopefully more meaningful, than “group #.”) 

Monthly FHE Schedule Pattern

• Week 1—Ensign-based FHE
• Week 2—Active FHE (gospel-in-motion) 
• Group service activities are great for unifying individuals.
• Do something for members who aren’t there.  Let them know you are aware of them and that you care for their well-being.
• Week 3—Group-leader-directed FHE (Optional Bishopric Homes)
• LDS.org Resources (See: “Family Activities” near the bottom of the webpage.)
• Ask the participants what activities they would like to do.
• Week 4—Combined with one other group
• Encourage each member to plan to come together with someone.
• Week 5—Ward FHE by Kristin & Bryan