Skip to main content

Redneck Fine Dining: Red Lobster, Sizzler, Olive Garden

Story from Last Week

Stef and I were driving along University parkway toward Provo when I saw a Sizzler on the left. I made the remark that Sizzler, Red Lobster, and Olive Garden are establishments of 'fine dinning' rednecks. When a redneck wants to show his girl he REALLY loves her, he'll take her out to the Oliver GARDEN.

Stef looked at me like she didn't get it, so I said in my best hick accent, "One day, soon, I'm a gonna take you out some place fancy! Like The Sizzler!"

Stef still wasn't amused, so I desisted.

Story from This Week

Stef and I were in the car again and we passed by the Olive Garden and she started cracking up! It was ridiculous how much she was chuckling to herself.

She explained that ever since we had that conversation, she laughs harder every time she passes by one of those three restaurants.

The irony was that I had forgotten that I even said anything about it.

Comments

  1. What a CRACK UP! That still kills me :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So where does that put Denny's, Shari's, Big Boy and other similar establishments on your list?

    ReplyDelete
  3. So what are we to surmise from this? Is Stef secretly a redneck? Maybe she thought you were dissing her because it used to be her favorite restaurant.
    I haven't been to Olive Garden in a long time!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Please share your thoughts.

Popular posts from this blog

Rummi-"CUB" vs. Rummi-"CUBE"

The "Rummikub" Pronunciation Debate Affirmative Constructive: "Cub" For years, I have been a firm advocate and defender of the pronunciation, Rummi-"CUB".  The game box I grew up with spelled it, Rummicub  on the box. However, other productions of the game have variant spellings: Rummykub , Rummy Kube , Rummy Tiles , etc.  Based solely on box spelling, the game's true pronunciation is open to interpretation. Therefore, Rummi"cub" is equally acceptable to any other given pronunciation. Negative  Constructive : "Cube" My opponents argue that since the game originated over seas, we ought to respect and maintain its original pronunciation. Affirmative Rebuttal: Americanization of the Term When the game was brought to America and given Americanized rules, its name was also Americanized. Pronunciation loyalists then counter my rebuttal with, "there are lots of adopted foreign words that have retained their original pron...

The Secret Reason Why "Good Witch" Feels Emotionally Off

TL;DR It's the Botox. For the past 3 months, my wife, Stacia, and I have been watching  Good Witch  (via Netflix and Amazon Prime). Stacia adores winding down to "Hallmark-y shows." We can rely on Good Witch episodes to always resolve happily. The episodes are never too intense. The height of conflict revolves around things like someone's inability to locate the perfect spot to snap a romantic photo for a new tourism brochure. I consider my time watching these shows spouse bonding time , and emotional training. My favorite thing about watching feel-good shows with Stacia is getting to observe her facial reactions to the on-screen drama. When two people lean in for a long-anticipated kiss, Stacia tucks her knees into her chest and frowns with her forehead while lifting her chin and bottom lip. While I'm typically unable to suspend my disbelief, Stacia seems completely entranced by the various characters' emotions. Wishing I could join her in being swept aw...

Who's Got The Funk?

I am an amateur guitarist, and I've got no funk. My musical skills seem to lacking that special something . Great musicians have it . Those fortunate enough to have gotten hold of  it , create timeless hits. While musicians without it  fade into oblivion. After spending hours searching through Blues history websites and 1970's band documentaries online, I discovered what that special something  is thank to a (70% Man, 30% fish) character from the BBC show "The Mighty Boosh" named Old Gregg. He identified that  thing  as  The Funk ! But what exactly is The Funk ? Here is some dialogue from the show to help explain its origin and purpose: Old Gregg: You're a musician, yeah? Howard: Yes I am. Old Gregg: Butchya ain't very good, are ya? Howard: I'm one of the best in town. Old Gregg: Come on, I read your reviews. Hmm? You know what your problem is? Howard: What? Old Gregg: Ya ain't got the funk. You're all rigid. Hmm? You're l...