March "Absolutely-Off-Your-Rocker" Madness

The NCAA "March Madness" tournament brings out the nutcases.

I'm not going to embarrass anyone specifically, but I will say that I got a few surprises this month. Scary surprises. I discovered that I really don't know some of the friends who I thought I knew. One minute they are quietly doing homework in their room, and the next, I hear death-curtailing screams, the crashing of furniture, and see dust clouds billowing out from beneath the door. March Madness has transformed them into The Incredible HULK;

"Don't make me angry, UConn; you won't like me when I'm angry."

HULKS exist everywhere. For 8-10 months, these individuals live amongst us, concealing their inner-HULKS from the rest of society. But come mid-March, these Mutants reveal their true colors as they cheer on their favored team toward the championship. When their team fails to perform, the HULK is unleashed. Once, Masters of Meekness, these Sports fans are known to erupt into insane monsters for profanity and destruction. Beware.

Preparedness and prevention:

Developing these two characteristics are key to managing potential eruptions in 2009. If I were a March Madness Hulk, I would prepare by exercising the day of a big game; getting all my excess energy and frustration out at the gym before taking into my home. I would especially emphasize spiritual yoga principles of visualization and breathing. I would prevent by taking a sedative before games instead of fueling the fire, like HULKS often do, with caffeine and nachos.

Good luck this year in your attempts to control the HULK inside of you or helping someone you love. We wouldn't want to have to "put anyone down" like years previous.


Keep up to date through the frequently updated Wikipedia page.

Chances of correctly predicting a winning bracket:

There are 2^64 or 18,446,744,073,709,551,616 (18.4 quintillion) possibilities for the possible winners in a 65 team NCAA bracket, making the odds of randomly picking a perfect bracket (i.e. all games picked correctly) 18.4 quintillion to 1.

Trivia:

Question: The term "March Madness" was first used on the air in 1982 by which excited sportscaster?

-Brent Musburger
-Marv Albert
-Dick Vitale

Answer: Though it was first coined in print by writer Henry Porter in 1939 in reference to a Illinois High School Tournament, "March Madness" was first used in reference to the NCAA Championship Tournament on a broadcast by Brent Musburger.

Bonus Question:

Question: How can Latter Day Saints prove that "March Madness" is a construct of the Devil?

Answer: The 2009 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament began on March 17, 2009, and concludes with the championship game on April 6 (the same weekend as General Conference.)