Last night I wasn't Special Ops as per usual; I was a rogue wizard! I did however work for an internationally renowned media mogul and then when I quit after only 3 weeks I traveled away with a band of no-good Chinese pirates.
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Here are some of the magic spells I could perform:
1. While I worked as a landscaper for the media mogul, I spent most of my time on a makeshift bridge that blocked six of the eight lanes of freeway that it crossed. With my magical powers I was able to shoot electric current at the oncoming traffic to control each vehicle and smoothly guide them through the two open lanes at 50 mph.
2. I created tiny whirlwinds that picked up the trash along the freeway that resulted in collecting them into piles for my fellow team mates to put into bags.
3. I used my mental abilities in my dismissal interview to get an extra $500 as a termination bonus.
4. As I escaped I ended up in an underground river passage. Pirates were close behind me. I used my magic to morph the shape of my punting paddle. I also gave myself added strength to get extra distance out of each pull.
5. I saved my own life when I the pirates finally caught up to me. Somehow, I integrated myself in with them. When I was asked a direct question, I didn't understand what was said but I charmed my tongue and responded with some traditional Chinese saying. Everyone laughed and I became "the funny pirate".
6. There were two other good ones, but I can't remember them anymore...
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Listening to: Yo Gabba Gabba! - Party In My Tummy
That does it! Who can Bryan a lunch interview with Stephen Spielberg?
ReplyDeleteI especially liked number five. Funny pirate, you.
ReplyDeletegood work on the $500 termination bonus. I hope I get that when I terminate at this job!
ReplyDelete