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The Bunkbed Ritual


I was inspired my Noelle and Phil's bed story to write one of mi own.

It was the mid-80's and I was the proud owner of my very own bunk bed. Having no brothers, I had no one to share it with. Naturally, I chose to sleep on the top bunk. That was high-adventure for me back then. I'll have to confirm this with mom, but the risk of sleeping on the top was very real as I fell out more than once. (At least I had nightmares about falling--I distinctly remember waking up violently as my body would tense up and physically react just as if I had fallen 300 feet from the top of a desert cliff. I would even feel a very real pain in my chest.) But I digress. (Digression runs in the family I found out from reading Heather and Rick's blog.)

I didn't just climb the three wooden steps up the head of my bed for the thrill of it; I had a ritual. I would only allow myself to ascend each symbolic step if I had fulfilled the action I associated with it.

!. Climbing the first step represented that I had brushed my teeth. Since that was the nighttime ritual that took place furthest from my bed, it made sense to me that it ought to be the first to be completed.

2. The second step represented having said my prayers. I did those kneeling beside the bottom bunk so when I did forget, I didn't have to fall from the very top step, yet it was high enough to get the satisfaction of making a loud thump with I hit the ground.

3. Remembering what the third step represented took me 2 whole days as I prepared to write this blog. Number three meant that I had to pause and consciously check my bladder to see if I got the urge to go to the bathroom since I began climbing the ladder. Many times I did. But by that point in my ascent I was so close to being under my covers that the draw for warmth and sleep was much greater that making the long walk to a cold toilet seat. Maybe that's why I wasn't potty trained until the 90's?

*After I had verbally "checked" each ascending step I had the great joy of holding on to the top rail and doing a forward roll up and over the edge of my bed. Sure it was dangerous, but that's just the kind of weak-bladdered rebel I was.

Comments

  1. That was a great post. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Great writing. I especially enjoyed the bit about the forward roll onto your bed at the end. :)

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  2. I think that is my favorite post you've written! So funny and insightful. Thanks so much for your Family History Tuesday!

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  3. This is just about the funniest post I've ever read. Dont get me wrong, and no offense Heather and Noelle (I know you take great pride in your blogging) but Bryan, I think you're the best blogger in our family! You have such creative posts and they are so well written and entertaining... and random! That is hysterical, yes, hysterical that the third step was a bladder check :) Love ya!

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