Tuesdays with Muerte

Dear: fellow Michael Bay haters, and people who are STILL unable to cope with a re-imagined 80's Transformers cartoon franchise, and those who were abruptly disenchanted with Transformers after the first film came out back in 2007, Transformers: Age of Extinction  is critic proof.  In terms Film Crit Hulk would understand, this franchise can't be smashed.  Bay knows it.  Hollywood knows it.  And the $104 million in opening weekend box office sales knows it.   The only reason anyone went to this T4 was to see the 10-second clip of Optimus Prime riding a T-rex.  Film critics (who are concerned with story and meaning) will futilely bang their heads against a wall in their efforts to attack this film. " Trans-four-mores" was never intended to be a Nolan-esqe, deep-themed, psychological drama—it's your standard "we pay you money, you show us explosions" blockbuster transaction. Bay figured out this simple equation long ago: A successful Hollywood...

Jaina Solo cosplay by Cavalyn POTENTIAL SPINOFFS: Apparently, Disney is going to flesh out the Star Wars universe by producing spinoffs films in addition to the canon (Episode VII).  Spinoffs were inevitable in my mind, but I had no idea they'd be coming so soon.   This "STAR WARS: LEGENDS" trailer was finally released this week.  The film was o riginally planned to be finished in 2007 for the Star Wars 30th Anniversary... POSSIBLE DIRECTOR FOR "LEGENDS" : " After his monster  Godzilla   opening, director  Gareth Edwards  has landed the director’s chair for an  Untitled  Star Wars  3D stand-alone film, which Disney has dated for a December 16, 2016 release.   Alvin & The Chipmunks 4  from 20th Century Fox is the only competition so far on that date. How ironic, as it was Fox who distributed the initial  Star Wars  in 1977? "  Deadline Hollywood MY COMMENTARY: I concede that am I probably making a ...

Bandai's official 2014 Godzilla #AtomicBreath Summary: WIN? I watched Gozilla at Utah's Jordan Commons IMAX theater in 3D last night. Like the film itself, my thoughts on Godzilla are simple:  Incredible visualFX and sound, but lacking in story.  Was it a "good movie?" Whether you're an action junkie or an art snob, you'll both love it, AND hate it (for opposite reasons). Godzilla (2014) is  not just a movie about monsters smashing things up.  But neither is it what art critics would call a masterpiece .  Unfortunately for the viewer, Godzilla (2014) is a  schizophrenic film that  fails to fully satisfy either camp (see  Revelation 3:16 ). For me, Godzilla was a 123-minute, entertaining romp (as long as I managed to keep from over-analyzing it, which I too often do).  I'm a sucker for a good story.  (Biases are now on the table.)  Since this film wasn't really meant for either for the erudite or the mindless explosion-seeker,...

I love you, Mama!  Thank you for your undying love and support.  You raised me well and I want you proud!  Thank you especially for: Sharing fun moments on Instagram Energetic phone calls Tracking down special gifts for me Reminding me of things I'd forget Praying for my love life Giving me space Teaching me the importance of language (spelling, grammar, syntax, etc.) Providing me with an entire can of chile everyday as an after-school snack Letting me play video games, even though you probably hated them Remember all those hours I spent locked away in the TV room playing video games?  That was the best form of love you could have given me.  When I screamed at the NES (when my character died just before reaching the end of a level) you probably thought it would be the responsible thing to do to intervene, but you didn't; you allowed me continue.  I feel like that gave me a terrific opportunity to develop principles of determination, patie...

My Story 20+ years of formal schooling is a lot by any standard.  Ever wonder what it feels like to burn out as a grad student?   Here's a Quora thread where people responded to that questions .  Last winter, I, myself, had a rough time during finals .  My brain, and body, and spirit all went to pot after two weeks of high stress and precious, little sleep. Things weren't too different this time around... Here are my top five indicators of stress, inspired by my deepest, most-deranged regrets during finals week this year: 1. Growing a "sensible" mustache. I basically didn't look in a mirror for an entire week, so when I did actually leave the house (for Church) I reasoned that keeping the (BYU-approved) pedo-stache would lend me strength to finish strong, like the Nazarites of Biblical times.  Nope.  Just made me look like a creep. #CallmeSampson 2. Talking to my professors in second person (then switching tenses mid-conversation)....

This wasn't an exact meme re-enactment, but my intentions were true.  I attempted to mimic the little boy featured in the YouTube video below.  (Parental warning: A British woman says the "H" word.)  While this episode was very impromptu, and would have been better had it actually been my sister's birthday instead of my brother-in-law's.  It has initiated a very fun tradition that I'd like to continue to carry out for the foreseeable future—re-enacting memes that is, not jacking other people's birthday wishes; that's only funny once. "You never know when, or where, he's going to strike!" "Gotcha!"

I ran-skipped home, clutching a grass-stained, ten-dollar bill in my hand. I had never felt so rich in my entire (pre-teen) life! My burgeoning lawn-care business was only a week old and I was already seeing incredible returns. $10 whole dollars!  (Note: Ten dollars was the equivalent of one thousand Tootsie Rolls purchased at the local baseball park.) Just the thought of all those Tootsie Rolls filled my mouth with Saliva as I ran, which made it harder to breathe, but I didn't mind spit or drool as my clothes were covered in filth anyway.  Soon, I'd ask my dad to break the bill so I could finally discover if it would be possible to fill my first-baseman’s glove with tubular, chocolate goodness. Like most Saturday mornings, I found my dad in his study working on our family’s finances.  Feeling on equal terms—now that I was bringing money into the household—I proudly barged into his office revealing my prize. After doling out the anticipated praise, Dad asked ...