Tuesdays with Muerte

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you so much. For your birthday present this year, I feel that it is time that you finally learned the truth. Now that you are becoming much more technologically savvy, it is time for you to be let in on the dark secret that the rest of the family has kept from you over the last 6 year. Upon returning home from my mission, I set up a shared Google Document designed to host copies of all of the Mother's Day, Birthday and Christmas cards that the rest of the family has written for you.  The document is tied to Google Calender so that it is emailed to each of us at those three times a years.  Now, here's the part I'm really ashamed of.  Instead of adding to the genealogical record of all the different reasons why we love you, we have resorted to simply copying one anothers' sentiments from years past. I know.  I know.  I should burn for this one.  But I figured, it would be better to tell you about it now and get it out on the tabl

Those zany kids at Improv Everywhere staged a surprise musical at a Queens supermarket. This is your new theme song that will play in your head every time you're at the grocery store fondling some apples. YOU can be improvisational too! We'll start off easy, then work toward the more flamboyant. Here are a list of spontaneous actions you can do this week: Monday - Anytime you hear the word "amen," slip in a subtle or outrageous "Hallelujah!" Tuesday - Anytime you hear a loud noise like a bell, hit the deck like a veteran with PTS. Make up whatever story/explanation you want at that point. Wednesday - If you see someone listening to their personal music player [iPod] start dancing around them. If they take their earplugs out, compliment them on their taste in music. Thursday - Start a conversation with someone in line. Make up a huge, elaborate story [lie] that takes like two minutes to tell that ends with "but the judge let me

“ Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has instructed his citizens to stop singing in the shower . As his country suffers from a chronic water and energy crisis, Chavez told the public to limit the amount of time they spend in the bathroom. “Some people sing in the shower, stay in the shower for half an hour,” he fumed in a televised cabinet meeting, according to the Daily Mail. He then revealed that he was taking the lead in the fight against wasted energy. “No, kids,” he urged, “three minutes is more than enough. I’ve counted, three minutes, and I don’t stink.” What the rest of the world is doing to conserve water:  

Why is Luke Such a Dweeb? There are many factors that led to Luke's Dweebism.  But ultimately, his point-of-no-return came during 5th movie, Empire Strikes Back .  Throughout the entire movie no matter what Luke is doing he is getting his butt kicked. He is beat up by that snow monster, crash lands a snowspeeder, gets freaked out by some weird creatures on Degaba, gets his hand cut off by Darth Vader, and for a finale he cries like a little girl. The only fight he wins is versus himself in that tripped-out cave and even then at least one Luke Skywalker loses. I am confident it was this movie that ruined Mark Hammel's career. He needs to take a page from Jason Stathum, never get beat up no matter what and always look tough . Sure he rebounds in the Return of the Jedi, but the damage is done. No actor has ever had a successful career after crying when finding out his father is Darth Vader.* *Note: There is a very small sample size for this. Why can't I be as cool as

I just came home from the welcome meeting to a Federally funded university exchange program between USU and two universities in Brazil. I will be given $4500 for travel and living expenses for three months from May-end of July. In that time, I will be collaborating with Brazilian university students on developing educational materials for elementary and middle school students in both nations. The questions I have to decide are: 1. Do I want to go to Forteleza or a suburb of Sao Paulo ? 2. Do I want to stay with a family or rent my own place? 3. Do I want to stay and travel a little on my student visa? If so, where? I'd appreciate any suggestions you have. Thanks

Preface: The following do not reflect the views of the Church, nor are my ideas probably correct. I recognize that I have no business meddling with the trivial mysteries of God, but sometimes, I just like to meddle for fun. Hypothesis: While studying at Brigham Young University, I developed the hypothesis that God and Jesus, unlike many popular artistic depictions and historical testimonies, do not sport facial hair. I developed this hypothesis by observing the BYU Honor Code and the hairless examples of our contemporary church leaders. Primarily, my hypothesis had its genesis in viewing the example of the Prophet Joseph Smith.  Now follow me closely.  Latter Day Saints know that the boy prophet Joseph did experience a face-to-face vision with both the Father and the Son.  It is curious to think that Joseph Smith, after seeing God the Father, never rocked the full beard except when he was in prison or traveling and unable to shave.  Why was it that Joseph, in contrast to the

I have a friend who has a connection who just let me know that 8 Deseret books are available for FREE DOWNLOAD at http://deseretbook.com/free . (for a limited time) 1. Please Pass the Scripture (by John Hilton - my friend). 2. What I Wish I Would Have Known When I Was Single (by John Bytheway). 3. Women at the Well (by Richard and Jeni Holzapfel). 4. Digging Deeper (by Robert Eaton). 5. 10 Secrets Wise Parents Know (by Brent Top and Bruce Chadwick). 6. Growing Up: Gospel Answers About Maturation and Sex (by Brad Wilcox). 7. Saving Kristen (by Jack Weyland). (fiction) 8. The Hidden Path (by C.B. Andersen). (fiction) Our source recommends that you go download them all and save them for future reference as they will only be available online for free for a short time. Please tell your friends. Some of the books help you get more out of the scriptures. Others are good for parentin