I want to be an under shepherd for Christ, but I fear my light is not super bright. Is my dim light enough?
When I love people, I desire to be open with them. That includes the deep joy I find in my relationship with Jesus Christ.
The Rub
But here's the rub. When I hear "motivational" quotes like,
- "If you want to give light to others, you have to glow yourself.” And “Ours is the responsibility to keep our lights bright for others to see and follow.” —Thomas S. Monson
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I think: "You must be flawless before you can invite someone to be more like Christ." —Bryan's Perfectionism Greatest Hits soundtrack
The Lie
I often feel the desire to share the gospel in normal and natural ways, motivated by my love for others. However, that wholesome desire is often accompanied by a perfectionistic voice that warmly suggests, "What a nice thought, Bryan. But wouldn't it be better if your light shined just a little bit brighter before you come out from under that bushel?" (Matt. 5: 14-16) "Your light isn't bright enough to effectively guide others to Christ. In fact, instead of promoting Christ, your hypocritical imperfection will sabotage others' journies toward Christ."
While I love the idea of being a witness, beacon, or a "lower light" to Christ's lighthouse, my fear of imagined hypocrisy deters me from that goal. I am aware that the fearful voice in my head is Satan's attempt to spread misery.
So what can I do about it?
The Fix
Remember: ESLSL
Even small lights save lives.
I'll play this new soundtrack on repeat whenever those discouraging voices of perfectionism creep in. Let me share a story and a personal application that illustrates this truth.
Story: The Security Light That Saved a Life
There are two kinds of stories that immediately pull at my heartstrings. One is that of anyone who survives a life-devastating event, and two, anything concerning children. Well, what I’m about to share with you combines them both.
Sailor was only seven years old, the lone survivor of a plane crash that killed her parents, her sister, and her cousin. The sheriff said, “She literally fell out of the sky into a dark hole.” He called her survival “a miracle.” This “miracle” survivor somehow managed to crawl out of the upside-down wreckage of her dad’s plane, dressed only in shorts and a t-shirt on a winter night. Shoe-less, through brambles and underbrush, this, who they called a “remarkable” young girl, navigated two embankments, a hill, and a creek bed all in the dark!
Then, much like the book of Genesis, “there was light.” Actually, it was just a single security light on a house. But when she knocked on that door, a kind, grandfatherly man brought her inside. Then she was safe. One report said this: “He thinks his security light may have been a beacon.” I agree. A beacon of light for a little girl who had lost so much in the dark. Thank God for the light that saved her life.
Personal Application: The Dim Glow of a Cellphone Screen
I love the benefits of sleeping in a pitch-black bedroom. But as you can imagine, answering nature's call can be quite treacherous without a little visual assistance. One night, on my way to the bathroom, I remember feeling especially discombobulated. Groping the air with one hand and fumbling with my cell phone in the other, I barely managed to eke out a faint glow from the cell phone screen (on dark mode). Surprisingly, that was enough light for me to successfully navigate the labyrinth of obstacles between me and my destination. I narrowly dodged the pile of clothing I had set out for the following morning and somehow avoided stubbing my toe on any furniture or fixtures along the twisted path. My cellphone's feeble screen light pushed back the shadows and revealed the immediate path before me. Once in the bathroom, I bathed myself in light.
As I returned to bed, I reflected upon the profound truth I discovered: even the smallest glow could make all the difference, keeping me from stumbling, and illuminating my way through the darkest moments. I realized that just like my cellphone light, I, too, could be a guiding beacon, proving that even in the most ordinary times, small lights mean the world to those struggling through the darkness.
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| Smartphone in Darkness by Gift Habeshaw |
Conclusion
In 2022, Ryan Murphy and the Tabernacle Choir performed a special arrangement of the classic hymn Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy. If you listen to the recording below, pay attention to the introduction. The first 15 seconds are almost too quiet to hear. The tinkling overture is then augmented until it grows into an encompassing harmony. The beautiful simplicity of this introduction symbolizes both the meek but powerful role of Christ's lower lights and the potential of these lights for growth.
I don't have to be the brightest light; that's Christ's role. I don't even need to be in the right place at the right time for Christ to use me; I believe he will use me anywhere. I just need to not dim my light when Wormtongue comes a' whispering.
Sure, I've been brighter in the past. And I hope to grow even brighter in the future. But regardless of my current level of luminosity, my light is enough. I appreciate April Meservy's call to action in the 2004 EFY soundtrack, "All people sitting in the darkness, stand up and share a little brightness." I am a committed disciple of Jesus Christ. And though I am imperfect, my simple but fixed light can make a difference for those tempest-tossed sailors who are struggling along my stretch of shore; my dim light can mean the world for those seeking the serene and healing harbor that Jesus Christ offers all.
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