Gretchen Rubin's The Four Tendencies

Introduction

After reading The Happiness Project (2009) by New York Times bestselling author, Gretchen Rubins, I decided to read two of her more recent books:

• Better Than Before (2015)
• The Four Tendencies (2017)

These books talk about habits and how our personalities orient us toward certain motivational techniques. Both showcased Rubin's revolutionary personality profile called, The Four Tendencies. She explains that "The Four Tendencies explain why we act and why we don’t act." And boy, did I learn a lot about how I personally derive motivation. Now, I'm dying to discuss them with my friends and family. 

Take the ONLINE QUIZ now, or read on to discover your Tendency. 

A Summary of The Four Tendencies

The Four Tendencies framework describes how we respond to expectations. We all face two kinds of expectations:

1. outer expectations, such as meeting work deadlines or observing traffic regulations, and
2. inner expectations, such as quitting napping or keeping a New Year’s resolution.

   

   QUIZ.GRETCHENRUBIN.COM
   

• Upholder (19%): “I do what others expect of me—and what I expect from myself.”
• Questioner (23%): “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”
• Obliger (41%): “I do what I have to do. I don’t want to let others down, but I may let myself down.”
• Rebel (17%): “I do what I want, in my own way. If you try to make me do something—even if I try to make myself do something—I’m less likely to do it.”

What is my personality tendency?

Here's why: “Questioners question all expectations, and they respond to an expectation only if they conclude that it makes sense—in essence, they meet only inner expectations. They’re motivated by reason, logic, and fairness, which can lead to conflict when they don’t have enough information.”

I am internally motivated

I am motivated solely by inner expectations. Give me the data, but I always want to make up my own mind. I'm still stewing about the time I got a traffic violation for rolling through a stop sign a block away from my house at 2am when I was clearly the only one on the road (besides the hidden cop). I have no problem question the rules, and I only obey the ones I can justify internally. In fact, like countless other Questioners, I initially questioned the validity of this framework. I felt skeptical that it had a sound basis in science. E.g., "How can a single framework with only four categories describe all of humanity?"

I am a data-driven decision maker

My decisions are data-driven. And I can never get enough information. When playing family games like Mafia, I can count on my mom being moved by emotional persuasion. However, I am convinced by logic and reason. The more evidence I have, the more confident I become.

When taking tests, I often suffer from analysis paralysis. I crave a perfect information set. But when I the data are incomplete, I manage analysis-paralysis with strategies such as setting deadlines, establishing limits, or consulting trusted authorities. When I don't have clarity around something, I get stuck. (E.g., dissertation) Professionally, I crave opportunities to improve and streamline inefficient systems and processes. I get a special sense of satisfaction out of saving companies time, money, and effort. Also, long lines (especially at Walmart) are the worst! (Perhaps it's the inefficiency I hate.)

I am unafraid of questioning authority

I am comfortable bucking the system, if it's warranted. I love to play devil's advocate or adopt perspectives other than my own in an effort to draw out additional information. I can't stand it when people justify a rule by saying, "because so-and-so says so," or "it's always been that way."

My judgements are based on a synthesis of facts and therefore more fair towards all

I am open and fair-minded, according to my own judgement. This blog has numerous examples of me fairly discussing issues that important to me. I do my best to maintain an open mind when addressing topics like voting for President, or overcoming discriminatory beliefs. 

Additionally, I am often annoyed, and even feel insulted, when others question me. I make decisions carefully and logically. Once I feel confident enough that I have enough to make a good decision, it can be exhausting to explain my entire process to others. While I don't love having my reason questioned. Ask me how I reached my conclusion and I'd be happy to share my knowledge.

I feel a need for rationale/justification

I am have a hard time accepting baseless decisions from authority figures. I commonly ask myself, "why should I listen to you, anyway?"

I desire exactness

I regularly qualify and find exceptions to answers to test questions. And when I do settle on a "best" response, I feel the need hedge my answers with phrases like "in most instances." I remember asking a Spanish literature professor if she would allow me to write an exam covering the information instead of taking the one she had planned. (She agreed. I got an A.)

In order for me to act, the request has got to be reasonable

No one can make me do anything that doesn't make sense to me. When something makes sense, I uphold. When I disagree with something, I rebel. The best example I can think of this was how my mom convinced me to make my bed in high school. For years, I left my bed unmade in the morning because I figured I was saving time. One day, my mom told me making one's bed can help.

Conclusion

 This framework is important because, as Rubin explains it, "when we understand ourselves and how our Tendency shapes our perspective on the world, we can adapt our circumstances to suit our own nature—and when we understand how other people’s Tendencies shape their perspective, we can engage with them more effectively."

By keeping The Four Tendencies in mind for myself and others, I hope to be able to:

• more effectively motivate myself to start and follow values-driven habits.
• ask for what I need from others.
• offer tendency-targeted understanding and support to others.
• have something fun to talk about at parties.

Practice:

To practice communicating with people of different tendencies, I came up targeted requests that ought to appeal to each type. How persuasive was I for you? Let me know in a comment.

To Obligers:

I really want you to take this fun quiz. It's only eight multiple-choice questions and takes 2 minutes. Let's do this; I believe in you!

To Questioners:

I know online quizzes are a bit hokey, but if you take this it, we can dissect it together and hopefully deepen our relationship. I'd spare you the time by taking it for you, but I can't because you're the only one who really knows how you truly think and feel.

To Upholders:

You should take the quiz; not just for me—you deserve to know this about yourself.

To Rebels:

There's a Four Tendencies quiz available. I found my result to be uncanny and offered a fascinating, new perspective into my identity. I'm curious to see if you and I get different results. But, of course, it's up to you whether that something you're interested in. (Pattern: information-consequences-choice.)

Link to Quiz