Primary answers
Primary answers aren't only primary answers because they are given by primary children. They are primary answers because they are essential to our fundamental happiness and eternal exaltation. I need to try to make primary answers more primary in my life.- Heartfelt prayer
- Earnest study of doctrine (scriptures, latter-day prophets, personal revelation)
- Faithful church and temple attendance
- Meaningful service
Satan is still trying to mess with our agency
Satan is real. Tragically, he hates the children of Adam. Over millennia, he has perfected the most cunning ways to molest us. To effectively trouble "A-game" disciples in particular, Satan often distracts us with good things, then guilts us for not choosing the best. As Wormwood said to his nephew Screwtape, "a moderated religion is as good as no religion at all, and more amusing." (C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters)Not because I have to but because I want to
When feeling overwhelmed by the expectation to be ultra-spiritual, it may be helpful to reframe expectations as non-obligatory opportunities. How often have I thought, "I have to go to FHE" or "I really should leave now so I can be 10 minutes early to church"? These are the unnecessary burdens I place upon myself, which do nothing but serve to fool myself into thinking I am not enough. I must remember, I don't have to do anything. I get to do all these good things to help me reach my goals. I don't go to church because it is expected of me. I go to renew my covenants and remember Christ. But if I ultimately choose not to, then I show myself self-compassion and accept that where I currently am on my journey towards salvation is nothing to be ashamed of.
The Adversary wants me to feel guilty when I choose the good or better over the best. But when I do say yes to one of the lesser options, I ought to at least pause to consider what I'm saying no to. (Living the Gospel Joyful by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
Does God have unattainable expectations of us? No. After worshipping in the temple, I usually come away feeling a greater desire to consecrate my life to God. But then throughout the week, I fall short of my goal and become discouraged. I need to remember that God does not ask for life-consuming acts of faith from His children. Like Naaman the leper washing in Jordan, and the Children of Israel who were asked to simply look upon the serpent and live, the fact that God asks only small things of me is the miracle. When feeling the need "to do more," the answer is not to magnify the work to be done, but to simplify it. "What is most essential to my happiness and eternal trajectory?" Again, I need to try to make primary answers more primary in my life. Consecration will come over a lifetime of attuning my will to the Father's.
The Adversary wants me to feel guilty when I choose the good or better over the best. But when I do say yes to one of the lesser options, I ought to at least pause to consider what I'm saying no to. (Living the Gospel Joyful by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
Should I feel guilty or ashamed that I do not do more?
First of all, no. One never need feel worry or shame. These are cognitive distortions related to anxiety and depression.Does God have unattainable expectations of us? No. After worshipping in the temple, I usually come away feeling a greater desire to consecrate my life to God. But then throughout the week, I fall short of my goal and become discouraged. I need to remember that God does not ask for life-consuming acts of faith from His children. Like Naaman the leper washing in Jordan, and the Children of Israel who were asked to simply look upon the serpent and live, the fact that God asks only small things of me is the miracle. When feeling the need "to do more," the answer is not to magnify the work to be done, but to simplify it. "What is most essential to my happiness and eternal trajectory?" Again, I need to try to make primary answers more primary in my life. Consecration will come over a lifetime of attuning my will to the Father's.
Deciding what is most essential
I have set my top three values in respect to how to spend time: 1) Family 2) Church 3) Work. Everything else takes a backseat to these three. (Seeking a Balanced Life By Elder Donald L. Hallstrom. Elder Bednar speaks to Ogden Institute of Religion.)Dealing with shame
The mental health professionals I know agree, you can't escape feelings of shame on your own. The only way to be loosed from those limiting beliefs is to believe someone who sees us differently. The Savior knows us. And He loves us despite our shortcomings. And incidentally, He is the only one with the power and authority to clean and sanctify our souls from the consequences of sin. When I feel ashamed, I need to to connect with those who love and see me differently, and believe the holy words of Christ when He promises to make my crimson sins like wool (Isaiah 1:28).
Another way to fight shame is to express gratitude. One of my favorite ways to do this is to write and then ask to read a handwritten letter of gratitude to someone. There is something powerful about sharing that special moment with someone. It has the power to help me escape my own myopic view of my troubles.
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This is powerful and thoughtful advice. It is difficult to reconcile the many decisions I make every day with the idea that I could be doing MORE and BETTER. When comparing my choices with potential options, I will almost always lose. But I can instead focus on improving my ability to listen to the promptings of the Spirit and just focus on the single moment I live in now and making the right choice now. I try really hard to just focus on making wise, inspired choices in the moment I am in and not worrying too much about the ones I have missed.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for writing!
I never thought of "primary answers" as equivalent to Namaan's being asked to wash in the Jordan, or the Israelites to look and live, but they are quite similar. The easiness of the way can sometimes be a stumbling block. As always, I love reading your posts. You have a knack for expressing these good ideas in an accessible way for us to read.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't either. (i challenge you to use that in your primary chorister singing lessons.)
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