Background
In celebration of International Women's Day (March 8th, 2016), I dedicated some time to reflecting on my beliefs surrounding gender equality. According to popular feminist pundits, a feminist is anyone—male or female—who is in favor of gender equality. For me, identifying as a feminist was just another way of saying I rejected bigotry. I championed the idea that feminism meant gender egalitarian, and I believed that any decent person should believe in equality between the sexes in terms of political, economic, and social power. I am grateful for the courageous generations of liberal feminists who have fought for women's rights to do things like own property, wear pants, vote, and go to college. I'm especially grateful for the industrial feminists during WWII who proved that women were capable of factory work and paved the way for other social equality.However, modern feminism is different kind of beast. I've discovered that feminism today is more than just the cliché statement that gets passed around on facebook. There is an entire movement brewing that is swinging the pendulum from equality to sexism in the other direction. (In my profession, this natural tendency, called scope creep, happens when a firm objective isn't set or enforced.)
Once I dug a bit deeper into the latest definitions of feminism, I discovered that both females and males who identify themselves as (liberal, socialist, radial) feminists disagree on many things. That being said, most feminists (and I) agree on five basic principles:
- Working to increase equality: Feminist thought links ideas to action, insisting we should push for change toward gender equality and not just talk about it.
- Expanding human choice: Feminists believe that both men and women should have the freedom to develop their human interests and talents, even if those interests and talents conflict with the status quo. (E.g., if a woman wants to be a mechanic, she should have the right and opportunity to do so.)
- Eliminating gender stratification: Feminists oppose laws and cultural norms that limit income, educational and job opportunities for women.
- Ending sexual violence: Feminists fight against women being viewed/used as sexual objects.
- Promoting sexual freedom (agency): Feminists feel that women should have control over their sexuality and reproduction.
The Rub
Interested in becoming more active in my support of the cause of equality, I dug even further into the activity of the feminist political movement. What I found alarmed me. Striving desperately to be heard, like any activist group, I found that feminism had overreached its primary mission. While I whole-heartedly agree with feminism's foundational dogmas, they've added a some additional "rights" to their core system of beliefs which contradict my own religious beliefs, thus alienating me from their ranks. These include, but are not limited to the following tenets:- gender is not defined by sex, but by the [capricious] dictums of the individual.
- gender is thus a fluid concept that exists on a spectrum. (I.e., gender is not binary.)
- gender roles do not exist.
While I am pro-agency (i.e., I fight for people's right to choose, even if I disagree with their choice), I also take issue to the feminist political positions on abortion, tax-funded birth control, patriarchal theory, the feminist ideology that all gender differences are caused by oppression rather than being rooted in inherent biological and spiritual differences between men and women.
After hearing the rhetoric say one reasonable thing and observing another reality over the past 10 years, I have unfortunately concluded that feminism cannot ever truly be about gender equality, rather it must be about women's rights.
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Super-Annoying Radical feminist
(Not representative of the population, hopefully)
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I would totally be on board with the feminist movement if their message were simply "genders are equally deserving of both opportunities and respect. Let's all work together to make that happen!" However, due to the derisiveness inherent in their competitive framework and language, women are pitted against men. Whenever comparison is competition is part of a system, one party has to lose in order for another to win. In this case, the victim is men. And ironically, when men lose, so do women—because, from an egalitarian perspective, we are one.
If I could get inside Emma Watson's ear, I'd suggest abandoning the term feminism all together (along with its negative baggage) and instead adopt the term gender equalist. If equality is truly the goal, gender equalist (egalitarian) is a much more clear and descriptive term, and I imagine it would be much more accessible to the cultural masses.
In fact, I believe the entire equality campaign would be moot if we could manage to see one another as children of God. If we only identified as members of a spiritual and human family, forever connected both spiritually and physically, I imagine lot of global problems would be resolved. But the premise of believing in God is far too big a step for most people right now to make.
***End of Blogpost***
Oh, you're still here. You'd like more? I've got a lot more to share; here you go.
My Religious Counter Arguments to Feminism
In the 1995 Proclamation to the World on the Family, the 15 living apostles and prophets affirmed:- "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny."
- "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."
- "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."
Disassociating myself from feminism now, here's what I believe about gender equality.
Thesis
Genders (all people) are equal. One gender is not better than the other.Religious Underpinnings
My primary identity is not that of a tennis player, nor a student, Washingtonian, Scandanavian nor even human male. Rather, first and foremost, I am a son of God. I know we all are spirit sons and daughters of a Heavenly parents. "All human beings … are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents" (Proclamation to the World on the Family).Because of the love Heavenly Father and Mother have for each one of their children, they provided a way for us to learn, and to grow, to become like them. This mortal experience is a test; a really effective one. Having forgotten our pre-mortal existence, it is our responsibility to discern good from evil to and choose the good (Mor. 7:15-16). Unlike many of our school tests, the goal is not to ever make a mistake. This test was specifically designed so that we might learn from our mistakes and deal with individual hardships. Heavenly Father hopes that we will try our very best to make sense of this crazy world we live in and make the best of it.
God would never leave us alone. He has prepared a way for us all to get back home. Since the beginning, He has established a pattern of calling prophets to whom he reveals himself and His plan of salvation for us kids. The central part of that plan is the sacrifice of His only Begotten Son in the Flesh, Jesus Christ. Christ's atonement and resurrection made it possible for us to be freed from the effects of sin, and all mankind (regardless of our choice in this life) will be reunited with glorified, immortal bodies. (Sweeeet!)
To help us feel and recognize truths we come across throughout our lives, God has given us the Light of Christ. The Light of Christ is the divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things. (*Namaste*) One manifestation of the Light of Christ is what we call a conscience (BD, Light of Christ). Additionally, God has sent the third member of the Godhead, the Holy Ghost, to speak to our spirits whenever we bump into truth. If we are humble and receptive, these promptings resonate with our spirits through feelings of love, joy, peace, understanding, etc—good vibes (Gal. 5: 22). When we humble ourselves, seek truth and light, and act on our promptings, we tap into this power. If it is good, it is from God and we should continue on. If we experience feelings of discomfort, confusion, or irrationality (an absence of peace, love, joy) we should continue our search for truth somewhere else.
In my search for truth, I have discovered that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is God's only true and living church on the earth. (Allow me unpack that statement.) God is not an author of confusion and does not have various churches or religions authorized to teach different things. So by true I mean the LDS church teaches nothing but truth from Christ himself. They do not teach the ideas of men mingled with scripture (which is called apostasy). While many churches try their very best to interpret scripture, they lack the authority to speak to world on God's behalf. Through the Light of Christ, individuals can receive personal revelation. Parents can receive revelation for those under their stewardship, but only an authorized prophet can receive direction for the world. Good, faithful people try to help others share in their happiness by preaching to others truths they've learned for themselves. And in many cases these truths are universal and transfer well (which the Light of Christ will confirm to be true). However, without authorized servants receiving continued revelation on behalf of the entire church, history (the Bible) has shown that even those with the best intentions fall into apostasy. God's chosen prophet on the earth today is Thomas S. Monson, who acts as the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while Christ is not on the earth to preside Himself. I am so grateful to know God speaks through a living prophet, President Monson. Through him, the world receives divine teachings and guidance to help us with the questions and challenges of our day. (See the latest semi-annual LDS general conference addresses, or talk summaries.)
How do I know the LDS church is the one? Reason tells me, there can only be one church with the authority to preach the gospel and perform ordinances necessary for salvation. So which one of all the religions and churches is it? Let's start with the premise that the bible is the word of God. I have learned from the Bible that Jehovah, the pre-mortal Christ, has established a pattern of calling prophets and giving them priesthood authority in ancient times (despite repeated apostasy). When Christ came to earth, He re-established His Church. He called apostles and other authorized servants to go out and run the church and spread His gospel (Eph. 4:11-12). Unfortunately, over a relatively short period of time, people rejected and killed the Lord's Apostles and the world once again fell into apostasy. Since then, man has clung to the prophetic writings in the Bible, but has had no prophet to receive direct communications from God for the world or hold the authority to perform saving ordinances. Many hundreds of years went by. Then in 1820, in upstate New York, in a time of religious freedom and great excitement, the Savior followed his pattern once again by appearing to a chosen boy prophet (like Samuel, David, Moses, Joseph of Egypt, Nephi) and began preparing him to restore His church in these last days preparatory to His second coming. (Read the full story here: Joseph Smith History Chapter 1.) As evidence of the this restoration, Christ has brought to light a volume of scripture prepared by Prophets over 1000 years on the American continent called the Book of Mormon. (Mormon is the name of the ancient American prophet who abridged the volume of scripture.) Christ wants everyone to know that this book is true, and thus know that Joseph Smith is a true prophet, and that His church, authority, and truths are now back on the earth in their fullness. Mormon's son, Moroni included a promise at the end of the Book of Mormon to all those who have the faith to read even a little bit of it (Mor. 10:3-5). If you take Moroni's challenge, you too can know what I know to be true.
That was unintentionally long, but necessary groundwork. Thanks for your patience. Back to the subject at hand.
My Beliefs on Sex and Gender
Humans are a combination of spirit and imperfect physical (mortal) matter. At birth, our gendered spirits, which existed long before the foundations of this earth, are united with our biological parents. Sometimes, there are genetic mutations that cause confusion. But most cases, babies are born with male and female reproductive organs (xx, and xy).There is a difference between sex and gender. Sex is defined anatomically. Sex is objectively indisputable. Contrary to popular belief, I view gender as binary (male and female). "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose" (LDS PttWotF). Established spiritually, long before we came to this world, you and I (spirit offspring of God) were male and female. Just because we were born into mortal shells doesn't change that. In other words, gender is not a fluid concept; just because someone feels more like the opposite sex, doesn't give them license to change their anatomy.
In biologically "healthy" individuals, gender is defined by sex. That being said, I also believe the following:
- In most cases, women and men are inherently born with respective (spiritual) gifts and (biological) abilities which support their stereotypical gender roles as mothers and fathers. I accept this as a completely sexist view, which I don't see as a "bad" thing.
- I hate is the term "genderfluid." You aren't a "genderfluid" person if you're a guy who enjoys embroidery or a woman who enjoys karate. You're just a guy who likes embroidery or a girl who enjoys karate. It's that simple. Boys can like pink (gender stereotype) and not be gay or gender confused (gender identity). Girls can be attracted to girls (same gender attraction, confused/questioning gender identity) and nevertheless be biologically female.
- It's our God-given right to exercise our agency and deviate from gender roles as we see fit. While a divine design exists in order to create the best environment for raising children, circumstances may encourage/necessitate working mothers, stay-at-home fathers.
- I know that there are people with various disorders who do not have a sex, or have an intermediate sex between the two usual sexes. But saying this disproves the concept that sex exists is sort of like saying that because neurological disorders exist, you can't create an intelligence test, because the person taking it might have a neurological disorder. But yes, XXY can be confusing. (See points #2 and #3 by the American College of Pediatricians.)
Here's a tough question that I haven't found an answer to in revealed doctrine. It's one that I suspect most individuals who are confused about their gender struggle with:
If gender is ideally tied to one's anatomy, but is ultimately independent, how can male and female really know what gender they truly are?
I believe someone who sincerely approaches God with this question can receive an answer, especially if they have the help of the Holy Ghost to teach them as they pray, search the scriptures, and listen to the words of the modern prophets. I have only looked into this issue a little bit, but I received a solution that I am confident in. The answer I received was that a patriarchal blessing would offer the seeker a definitive answer regarding their eternal gender. A patriarchal blessing is an extremely intimate communication between Heavenly Father and the recipient. There are parts of the blessing that will naturally indicate gender. Additionally, I know from personal and others' experiences that anytime an individual privately prepares to receive their patriarchal blessing by asking specific questions, those questions are directly and specifically addressed in the blessing.
My Egalitarian Beliefs
- Like sex, gender is binary.
- For healthy individuals, gender (psychological identification) aligns with one's biological sex.
- It's okay to be gender confused.
- One gender is not better than the other.
- All people—regardless of their personal choices or beliefs—are deserving of honor and respect.
Fun Illustration of Gender Equality
A man holds a door open for a woman.
Role of the man played by………a classic gentleman (aka chivalrous prat)
Desiring to uphold a tradition of respect towards the fairer sex, the gentleman gallantly holds the door open for the lady, embellishing the gesture with an insincere compliment as she passes through. He then steps away from the door just as another gentleman approaches, thinking to himself, "men need not hold the door for other men! This chap is certainly capable of holding his own blasted door!"
Role of the woman played by………a femi-nazi (aka misandrist, radical feminist, man-hater)
The femi-nazi despises the implication that she is a less-capable human—too weak to open a door for herself. In an effort to educate the chauvinistic pig at the door, the femi-nazi ignores his kind gesture, and parades through the other half of the door, which she opened herself. She glances back to make sure the authoritarian prig received the message.
Role of the man holding the door or the approaching woman played by………an egalitarian (aka moderate feminist, gender equalist, reasonable human)
As he/she approaches, the egalitarian smiles, either recognizing an opportunity to show kindness to a fellow human being, or recognizing the selfless gesture of a kind-hearted individual. He/She then graciously holds/walks through the door, feeling good about the service they just performed/inspired to seek an opportunity to pass the kindness forward.Why We Should Treat All People Well
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. ... Next to the blessed sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”
— C. S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory" (emphasis added)People are INCREDIBLE! And all people are people. Let's treat each other like the incredible people they are. No more, no less.
Why Does God Permit Gender Confusion If It's So Fundamental to His Plan?
"In real life, we face actual, not imagined, hardships. There is pain—physical, emotional, and spiritual. There are heartbreaks when circumstances are very different from what we had anticipated. There is injustice when we do not seem to deserve our situation. There are disappointments when someone we trusted failed us. There are health and financial setbacks that can be disorienting. There may be times of question when a matter of doctrine or history is beyond our current understanding.When difficult things occur in our lives, what is our immediate response? Is it confusion or doubt or spiritual withdrawal? Is it a blow to our faith? Do we blame God or others for our circumstances? Or is our first response to remember who we are—that we are children of a loving God? Is that coupled with an absolute trust that He allows some earthly suffering because He knows it will bless us, like a refiner’s fire, to become like Him and to gain our eternal inheritance?"
I Am A Child of God, Elder Hallstrom, April 2016 (emphasis added)
Conclusion
In reality, terminology is not the important thing here. I'm not married to the label of egalitarian. Whatever word describes support for those men and women fighting for equal rights against a culture that irrationally espouses gender supremacy is a word I want to be called.Here is my summarizing thought: In our age of gender confusion and social permissiveness, I love the LDS doctrine that all people born to this earth are gendered spirits shrouded in imperfect mortal shells. I believe healthy bodies express the sex that corresponds with that spirit's innate gender. God has entrusted humanity with a critical role in his plan for the eternal destiny of his children—that is to establish loving families and create physical bodies for his spirit children to inhabit. All people on this earth are endowed with unique gifts and traits. It is up to us to figure out how to best use those to gifts for the improvement of ourselves and for the blessing of others while in this life.
Bonus
For your viewing pleasure:Emma Watson, Drop The BeatIdeas in this post were borrowed from Rachael Lefler, in her article, Feminist Beliefs I No Longer Agree With
And here's a SHORT clip of Emma Watson beatboxing while I freestyle about #HeForShe, if you only have 3 minutes. This was so fun.
Posted by Lin-Manuel Miranda on Thursday, March 17, 2016
I believe the word you are looking for is "egalitarian". I feel the same way as you do, but I don't feel right calling myself a feminist because of the negative association with the man-haters. Egalitarian is what I call myself. True feminists should be just as outraged by injustices against men, as they are about injustices towards women. Still, most self-proclaimed feminists completely ignore issues relating to men. For this reason I think people in favor of true gender equality should abandon the "feminist" label and assume the "egalitarian" label.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Robby. "Egalitarian" is exactly the word I was looking for.
DeletePerfect word choice! Let's spread it around, because unfortunately, many people don't know what it
Deletemeans and yet it seems to have a bit of pretentious drag to it.