How to Prepare For Your Free Birthday Meal at Tucanos!

Intro

If you're like me, buffets are a big deal. When I fail to cram as much food into my digestive system as possible before paying the bill, I feel like I've cheated myself. In other words, the higher my food-t0-dollar ratio, the wider my grin at the end of the meal.

To prepare, I sometimes search online for tips on how to gorge oneself. I recently found this gem, written by Uncle Ben on Quora; I thought I'd pass it along.

Photo by Ian Sane

Week Before the Buffet

1. Sign up today for Tucanos Birthday club at least 24 hours in advance.
2. To maximize consumption on the day of the buffet, you must begin your stomach conditioning at least a week ahead of time. This means that, for at least one meal a day, you must eat till you're full (even if it's just bread).  Once you think you're full, drink as much water as you can. This stretches  your stomach for the upcoming feast. 
3. As the big day approaches, do some brisk-walking or watch fitness videos. This is to prep your mind for the gorging that you are about to do. You have to make sure you don't chicken out halfway through the buffet because of calorie worries. Cheat your mind into thinking you deserve it. 

Day of the Buffet

1. Less-experienced buffet patrons will tell you not to eat on the buffet day itself, but not me. If you starve yourself, the moment you start on your buffet you'll feel sick in the gut. Instead, snack a bit throughout the day and make sure you're properly hydrated. Stop eating approximately four hours before the buffet. 
2. HARDCORE: Right before you leave the house for the buffet, drink a cup of diluted vinegar. I take apple cider vinegar. 

Time to Rock and Roll

1. Do not take any drinks during your meal. Any liquid saturates and expands the solids in your tummy. #combobreaker
2. If you want to have soup, take it first and finish it at the beginning of the meal. Then, allow 15 minutes for the soup to pass through you. Great time to play on your phone or chat with your "buy one get one free" buffet partner. 
3. Scout all the food, and take a bit of everything you think is nice. Do not take too much, however! You don't know what's nice until you actually eat it. 
4. After you've sampled everything, settle for 3-4 items that appeal most to you. And continue eating. 
5. When you think you're full, visit the restroom and release your bladder. When you know you're full, go back and release your bowels. 
6. Push yourself! Tough times never last, but tough men/women do!