Johnny Day on Marriage Prep

I recently had an amazing sit-down visit with Johnny Day where he shared with me the pearls of wisdom he gathered over his years as executive secretary. As secretary, Johnny has the responsibility of scheduling wedding-visit appointments with the Bishop for couples in the ward. I see Johnny as somewhat of an authority on dating because before he'll schedule anything, he makes the couples tell him about their engagement and how they broke free from "the game." After analyzing their stories, Johnny reports that he has discovered three common findings:

They all used the term "decided" when they talked about the moment in their lives when they were ready (or open, or emotionally available, or whatever) to get married. It seems that the default setting for YSAs in a relationship is to bank on it not working out. This perspective makes sense, because most relationships don't work out. But those that get married, have reprogrammed themselves to see if they can work through any issues that arise, instead of giving up at the first sign of incompatibility. Open communication through the dating process is key to negotiating these differences.

Related to the first finding, people who get married (especially guys) treat the other person as if the other person's name was in their patriarchal blessing. This sounds like a no-brainer, but it's amazing to see how many people hold back and are fearful of developing meaningful relationships because they've contracted Saturday's Warrior Sickness—they are always wondering if their "soul-mate" is still out there somewhere.

People (mostly ladies) open up to love because "he loved me first." Related to the previous two findings, it is key to treat the person you're dating like gold, long before you tell her you love her. (Whatever happened to olden-day wooing?) Remember Wesley in The Princess Bride? He showed Buttercup his love for her every time he served her and marked his acts of love with the simple saying, "as you wish." We all know how their story turned out.

Johnny later shared his findings in a Google Presentation, which includes many more findings (including quotations):

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