Skip to main content

Charity Punch



This week, our BYU ward pledged 4041 cans at a service auction and dinner. Every ward member wrote down something for others to bid on the previous week at FHE and this week we bid for them. The highest bid was 400 cans for an authentic Indian dinner hosted by one of the members of the bishopric. My bit of service was quite original but not very wise. I granted the highest bidder a punch in my stomach as hard as they could. I thought it was a good idea at the time, but when all was said and done, the winner was a big guy named Greg who won for only 1 can. AS HARD AS HE COULD, FOR ONE CAN! (Fortunately, he did hit me in the stomach and not the groin like it appears to be in the 3rd picture there. That was the ricochet after the initial blow.) I guess nobody wanted to hit me. I would have hit me if I were someone else. Can I help it that I am so amiable?

Next auction, I will offer a lifetime supply of high-fives or something lame like that.

Comments

  1. NoelleMon Nov 12, 06:29:00 AM MST

    "Take a whack at Weezuh! We could sell t-shirts! Come on, knock her lights out Malyn!"

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Please share your thoughts.

Popular posts from this blog

Rummi-"CUB" vs. Rummi-"CUBE"

The "Rummikub" Pronunciation Debate Affirmative Constructive: "Cub" For years, I have been a firm advocate and defender of the pronunciation, Rummi-"CUB".  The game box I grew up with spelled it, Rummicub  on the box. However, other productions of the game have variant spellings: Rummykub , Rummy Kube , Rummy Tiles , etc.  Based solely on box spelling, the game's true pronunciation is open to interpretation. Therefore, Rummi"cub" is equally acceptable to any other given pronunciation. Negative  Constructive : "Cube" My opponents argue that since the game originated over seas, we ought to respect and maintain its original pronunciation. Affirmative Rebuttal: Americanization of the Term When the game was brought to America and given Americanized rules, its name was also Americanized. Pronunciation loyalists then counter my rebuttal with, "there are lots of adopted foreign words that have retained their original pron...
5 comments
Read more

The Secret Reason Why "Good Witch" Feels Emotionally Off

TL;DR It's the Botox. For the past 3 months, my wife, Stacia, and I have been watching  Good Witch  (via Netflix and Amazon Prime). Stacia adores winding down to "Hallmark-y shows." We can rely on Good Witch episodes to always resolve happily. The episodes are never too intense. The height of conflict revolves around things like someone's inability to locate the perfect spot to snap a romantic photo for a new tourism brochure. I consider my time watching these shows spouse bonding time , and emotional training. My favorite thing about watching feel-good shows with Stacia is getting to observe her facial reactions to the on-screen drama. When two people lean in for a long-anticipated kiss, Stacia tucks her knees into her chest and frowns with her forehead while lifting her chin and bottom lip. While I'm typically unable to suspend my disbelief, Stacia seems completely entranced by the various characters' emotions. Wishing I could join her in being swept aw...
4 comments
Read more

Who's Got The Funk?

I am an amateur guitarist, and I've got no funk. My musical skills seem to lacking that special something . Great musicians have it . Those fortunate enough to have gotten hold of  it , create timeless hits. While musicians without it  fade into oblivion. After spending hours searching through Blues history websites and 1970's band documentaries online, I discovered what that special something  is thank to a (70% Man, 30% fish) character from the BBC show "The Mighty Boosh" named Old Gregg. He identified that  thing  as  The Funk ! But what exactly is The Funk ? Here is some dialogue from the show to help explain its origin and purpose: Old Gregg: You're a musician, yeah? Howard: Yes I am. Old Gregg: Butchya ain't very good, are ya? Howard: I'm one of the best in town. Old Gregg: Come on, I read your reviews. Hmm? You know what your problem is? Howard: What? Old Gregg: Ya ain't got the funk. You're all rigid. Hmm? You're l...
2 comments
Read more