Tuesdays with Muerte

Introduction In the wake of the volatile response to Elder Holland's recent BYU address , my friend, Melanie Parry-Winkle, shared the following compassionate invitation on Facebook. I took Melanie up on her offer and reached out in a private message. We had a terrific conversation. With patience and gentle curiosity, she helped me articulate some of the tension I was experiencing. She also offered me a deeper appreciation for the experience of those who were feeling hurt and afraid for their safety after Elder Holland's address.  My thoughts then turned to how I could take a step closer to those with different perspectives instead of draw lines in defense of my own views. With her permission, I'll repeat the counsel she shared with me: Excerpt from Our Facebook Conversation Bryan: I've recently been feeling sensitive about my privilege. As a white, cis-gendered BYU grad trying to get a job in the valley, I'm working hard to uncover and publicly acknowledge my bias...

Introduction Note: I originally wrote this circa 2016. It is springtime in Provo and the air is, once again, thick with love. With all of the Especially For Youth (EFY) counselors dotting the BYU campus in their brightly colored polos, I am reminded of a traumatizing, would-be-love story that is finally ripe for serious self-reflection after 10 years. Storytime I worked for EFY in varying capacities for 3 summers (2005-2007). It was one of the most demanding, most satisfying things I've ever done. I used to joke that the pay wasn't great, but the (spiritual) benefits were out-of-this-world. As a 23-25-year-old BYU-Utah undergraduate student, I was beyond my dating prime and feeling serious pressure to be in "wife-finding mode," despite not feeling emotionally prepared for that kind of commitment with another person. In EFY culture, there is an end-of-week relationship tradition observed by both participants and counselors. Although counselors were prohibited (and...

10-day-old Kai His name — We thought Kai's name would be much easier to settle on than it was. Honestly, it was the last thing holding us up before the nurses would let us leave the hospital. Kai was always at the top of our list of names, but I supposed we would lock it down immediately after seeing him for the first time. Community  — In these COVID times, we were surprised (and grateful for) how many people served us (e.g., food, gifts, time). Prepared to be on our own, we bought 2 weeks of frozen food from Beehive Meals that we haven't even cracked into yet. Burp rag supply — We severely underestimated the number of burp rags we would initially go through. Despite having 30 rags, there were numerous times we had zero in reserve. (Granted, we have not been efficient in their use.) Back pain — We weren't expecting backaches for both of us. (Stacia is obviously still recovering from 2.5 of pushing. I just have terrible form while holding Kai.) We should’ve been doing pr...

1. The Moral Roots of Liberals and Conservatives • Disabuse yourself of your natural self-righteous position by acknowledging that everyone believes they are right, and by being open to others' experiences. • Step out of the moral Matrix to which we are all connected. "If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between 'for' and 'against' is the mind's worst disease;” ― Jianzhi Sengcan (15:10) 2. How to Step Outside your Biases • The phrase, "man is the measure of all things," is a self-serving rationalization disguised as philosophy. Seek truth. not confirmation. (5:00) • It's seductive to believe that all your believes happen to be true. Being right feels good, which leads to seeking support your position and acting in bad faith. (5:58) • Social media (including Google) is designed to feed us information that cooresponds to beliefs we already espouse, re-inforcing our respective confirmat...

The purpose of my talk is to help you to move the mountains in your life by following President Russell M. Nelson’s 5 suggestions from his April 2021 General Conference talk, Christ Is Risen; Faith in Him Will Move Mountains . When I was taught my first lessons on faith, I mistakenly thought that I would, one day, be expected to develop sufficient faith to literally move mountains. I can’t tell you how relieved I was, 30 years later, to hear President Nelson clarify that those mountains were figurative. He elucidated,   My dear brothers and sisters…through your faith, Jesus Christ will increase your ability to move the mountains in your life , even though your personal challenges may loom as large as Mount Everest. Your mountains may be loneliness, doubt, illness, or other personal problems. Your mountains will vary, and yet the answer to each of your challenges is to increase your faith. That takes work. Lazy learners and lax disciples will always struggle to muster even a pa...

Personal Introduction By way of introduction, my name is Bryan Tanner. 30 years ago, I was a kid in Redmond, WA; I lived just down the street from Microsoft campus and the U.S. HQ for Nintendo. 20 years ago, I was a freshman here at BYU, positive that I was going to revolutionize the biotech industry. 10 years ago, I got my first big-boy job in a completely different field, creating learning experiences for companies—first for the Air Force, and then for Church HQ. That obviously didn’t work out because a few years later, I came back to BYU as a student. I attended a South Provo ward in this stake. (For those doing the math, yes, President Hansen was Stake President at the time.) 2.5 years ago, I married my dream girl and we have a baby boy on the way. Last week, I successfully defended my doctoral dissertation on a potential model to help people in my field transition from academia into the business world. Purpose I’m grateful for this brief moment I have to be with you. I believe tha...